10 Non-Negotiable Needs For A Truly Loving Relationship
The excitement and bliss of a new relationship is something very special. Constantly thinking about someone, looking forward to seeing them again, and wanting to spend all your available time with them, are usually things unique to the early stages of a blossoming relationship.
However, once the “honeymoon phase” has passed, relationships must rely on the solid foundation that the couple has built – comprised of various essential needs and desires – in order to be confident that the duo will stand the test of time, and “make it” together. Here are a few essential components to building any truly loving relationship…
Be Quick To Forgive And Praise
This can be a difficult one, for sure. When someone feels wronged, it can often put them on the defensive, perpetuating more and more relationship toxicity. Let it go. Chances are you have a hand in it also. If your significant other won’t speak kindly to you, perhaps it’s because you’re not making it easy to talk openly and honestly. Try turning to forgiveness and praise instead of defensiveness, and see what happens.
Be A Good Listener
This seems like a no-brainer, but we can sometimes space out while listening, as we feverishly wait for our turn to grab the proverbial microphone. We so can’t wait to make sure we get our own point across that it sometimes comes at the expense of absorbing the point the other person is trying to make. Try to make a habit of listening more and talking less.
Be A Good Communicator
Hand in hand with listening comes communicating. In line with the last point of being more concerned with what you want to say versus listening to what someone else is trying to say, it’s imperative to make sure you’re on the same page with your loved one. This means making sure that your communication is clear, when it’s your turn to talk, and doesn’t leave a lot of room for misinterpretation.
Be A Good Responder
Again tying into the other two points above, is putting forth an appropriate and supportive response. It’s a sure way to prove you’re actually listening. Acknowledging that you understand your loved one goes a long way in promoting continued support and respect on both sides.
Make choices that if known by your partner, would not make you feel ashamed. Tell each other the truth, and try to avoid having secrets that you wouldn’t want each other to know. Secrets – and having to keep them – add a lot of stress and anxiety to a relationship.
Desire Their Happiness
Everyone wants to be happy, but does everyone want their loved one or significant other to be happy? See the distinction? By putting their desires ahead of your own, it shows them how much you truly love and support them.
Remember To Surprise
This is something that people seem to be really good at in the beginning of relationship, but that seems to fade for many over time. Think about how great it feels to be surprised, and how much it shows that someone is thinking of you and desires your happiness. Even simple, little “just because” surprises can be very meaningful, and inject that feeling of excitement and joy into the everyday stuff of a relationship.
Have Their Back
Your job in a relationship is to have your partner’s back, not talk behind it. Think about how it feels to you when you hear another person bad-mouthing their SO. Does it feel good to you? Probably not, because deep down, we feel that it’s inherently wrong to smear someone that we’re supposed to support and love. So do that – support and love them publicly as well as privately.
Even as time goes on and looks fade, or health degrades, seek out the things that you love about that other person. By looking for things that bring joy, it will start to bring about more things that bring joy, which automatically pulls the focus from things that we don’t like or want. Looking for the positive means you’re less likely to find the negative.
Many of us have heard the adage, “Don’t ever go to bed angry.” This doesn’t mean to stay awake for days stewing about how you’ve been wronged, or ways to get back at the other person. It means to focus on fixing the problem so that you can rebound quickly. How does holding a grudge serve you? Disagreements or arguments are an inevitable part of bringing two different people with two different viewpoints together. It’s okay to argue or disagree and to take time to calm down, but it’s also okay to make up quickly (and way more fun, too).
It’s definitely not always rainbows and butterflies in a committed, meaningful relationship. Just as those disagreements are a natural part of it, so is compromise. Don’t put pressure on a loved one to always be perfect and to never falter. Likewise, don’t put pressure on yourself to always be perfect and never falter. Keep your expectations of each other realistic, and therefore achievable. Give each other a break. It goes a long way in helping with the point of being quick to forgive, which goes a long way to ensuring a rewarding, fulfilling relationship filled with love and respect for one another.