Cab Drivers Reveal The Awkward Phone Conversations They Overheard
In any occupation, you’ll inevitably have to deal with people, and you’ll probably end up with one or two good stories to take home and tell your friends and family as a result. But if you’re a cab driver or working for Lyft and Uber, you’re going to end up with a lot more than just a few of these crazy stories that will leave you in stitches.
Imagine sitting in the car with someone for half an hour to hear them break up with their significant other, make a sketchy deal, or something even worse. In some cases, the opposite happens, and the rider has to listen to an inconsiderate driver dealing with their life problems over speakerphone. Check out these insane stories of passengers and drivers who’ve heard far too much.
The Stand-Up Comedian Uber Driver
I’m a passenger, not an Uber driver, but I had to share this story. It was honestly the best taxi ride I ever had. I was going from San Francisco to SFO airport; in total, it was about a 15-minute ride. It was about 5 in the morning, and the guy was an absolute scream. He was like a stand-up comic….
I would say he was almost Robin Williams’ pace with his funny observations on traffic, flying, and families; I was with my wife and kids at the time. Still, to this day, I wish I’d been able to record it and play it back for everyone. I wondered at first if he was on something, but I don’t think so, he was just a funny guy. Best ride ever. Reddit User: llewkeller
Our Uber Driver Tour Guide
The first time I ever used Uber, I was in St. Louis on vacation with my wife. We’ve never been there and weren’t really familiar with the city. We were driving with this guy who I think was from the Middle East heading into downtown when we saw the Arch. We both started talking about it and were excited that we were so close….
The Uber driver started telling us facts about the Arch. “The arch was constructed in France and delivered here as a token of friendship in 1844.” I looked at my wife with a questioning look, and he continued. “A lot of people don’t know that that’s why it faces exactly east towards the Statue of Liberty.” We had to go and do our research afterward because we weren’t sure if he was accurate or not. Reddit User: RollingRock60
A Scary Time Saved by a Cab Driver
When I was fifteen, I had to split a cab with a stranger who was clearly older and hitting on me. It’s a long story, but I swear this was my only way home; with our money pooled, we could still only make it to a thirty-minute walk to my house, which was fine, except in the cab this guy had gone from moderately creepy to just scary….
He was trying to take me home with him, so when the cab stopped to let him out, I hung back and asked the driver if there was any way he could take me home. I told him I could have my parents pay, but he just took me back and didn’t charge me. I’ve never been so scared and then so thankful in my life. This driver was the best guy. Reddit User: whorcruz
What Just Happened?
I wasn’t the driver but the passenger. I got in the taxi I ordered from the train station to my house, and there was a small carnival we drove past on the way back. The taxi driver and I had been chatting, the usual small talk about how busy his day had been and how late he was working until that day….
And suddenly we passed this carnival, and the guy started talking about how they were shutting the carnival down as two seven-year-olds had been kidnapped the day before. The police had no leads, and he was talking about how it’s horrific to think that this stuff still happens, and he doesn’t even want to think of the poor girls. I got home and looked into it. None of this happened, nor had it ever in the town’s history. Reddit User: BSGBramley
First Date With an Uber Driver
Well, my pick-up calls me and says her mom wants to meet me first before she lets her daughter get in the car with a stranger. So then I actually have to get out and introduce myself and convince her I’m not going to do anything bad to her kid or murder her daughter. It was about two minutes of me turning on the charm….
It turned into an almost “first date” where you meet the girl’s parents. The mom loved me, gave me a cheek kiss, and sent us off on our way. Then me and the daughter flirted all the way to the club she was getting dropped off at, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek too. So that’s it. It was just a slightly strange, wholesome, fun encounter. Reddit User: ImJustSo
Chiming in on a Conference Call
I was the Uber passenger, and the driver scooped me and a friend up. We were riding, and he said, “Sorry guys, I’m in a conference call” and had a headpiece on. We said it wasn’t a problem, we just talked to ourselves, but he would chime in and chat with us. Toward the end of the ride, he said, “Sorry, I have to chime into the meeting….”
Now I thought he would say some business stuff like “4th quarter projection is down” or something. He says, “All right, everyone, we need to calm down, this isn’t the first time someone has ended their own life in our organization. It’s a shame what happened to Frank, but we need to get out in front of this and put our PR team on this.” I just looked at my friend and then the dude dropped us off. Reddit User: [redacted]
A Wannabe Rapper Ride
I gave a ride to a large Jamaican man who was on his phone the whole time with his ear buds in so he could gesticulate wildly; he constantly referred to himself in third person. He was a rapper, and the whole time he was talking with someone about how awesome he was and how he turned down a $400,000 recording contract because it wasn’t enough….
He also said something about how in three years’ time he would be dating Rihanna. Yeah, okay. I even looked him up afterward and found a couple of articles from 2 or 3 years earlier about him being a promising rapper, but nothing since then and certainly nothing indicating he was anywhere close to getting big. That’s too bad for his sake. Reddit User: rnilbog
Committing Insurance Fraud on Craigslist
I had one guy who was taking a couple calls from a Craigslist ad he put up. He said something about how his aunt worked for an insurance agency, and if they signed their name on this life insurance policy, they would get a check, and they could split it with him once they cashed it. After two or three of them declined, he asked me if I was interested….
I told him I didn’t want to commit whatever kind of fraud he was proposing. I thought about trying to report him to whatever bureau covers that, but his plan seemed so stupid he probably got caught anyway. We eventually reached his destination, and he got out of the car. I wonder if he found someone to help him out with that ever. Reddit User: rnilbog
The Not So Funny Uber Prank
I picked up this high schooler who started talking about how he had gotten arrested, completely unprovoked. He was quick to point out that it wasn’t anything violent; it was for white-collar crimes. He started telling me how he got busted on tax evasion. The whole time, I felt like this was a weird thing to unload on your Uber driver….
Then on the way, we had to stop by a bank so he could deposit a check or something. He said it would only take 30 seconds. After significantly more than 30 seconds had passed, I started to get concerned. His mom had requested the ride, and I didn’t even know his name. Was I the getaway driver or something? When he got back, he told me it was a prank. Reddit User: rnilbog
My Car Needed a Test After That
I Ubered a few times for extra money. I picked this girl up outside a frat house around 10:30 on a Friday night the one time. She got in the car and said to me, “Oh my goodness, you’re my savior, I just had to get out of there.” Soon after, she got a call from someone on her phone, and it went something like this….
“Oh my goodness, yeah, when he told me, I freaked out and just had to leave. I mean, it’s curable, so it’s fine, but I have to tell her, and I have to tell this other girl as well.” That’s when I realized this girl in my front seat was talking about getting an STD. I made sure to have my car cleaned the very next morning, first thing. Reddit User: powdog
The Voodoo Uber Driver
I’m not a driver but a passenger. My girlfriend and I were getting dropped off at Disney World and were having the usual small talk. The driver mentioned he was from Cuba, and I said I’m part Cuban. That’s where it all took off; he proceeded to tell me all about his “religion.” I’m still not sure what it was, but my family is Catholic, and I think he was somewhere in that ballpark….
He said he was a sorcerer and showed off all his dragon rings and talked about the mystical powers of some saint. He said his ex-wife was a voodoo witch and did all kinds of weird stuff, and they had to get divorced. He played some kind of chant sounding thing from his phone, but I don’t speak Spanish, so I didn’t know what it was. Then he wished us a good time at Disney, and we were on our way. Reddit User: mccoymrc
Yeah, That’s a Great Story
I shared a cab ride with two women who I would say were in their twenties. It was getting late, and I wanted to get a cab home, but as you know, the prices go up quite a bit the moment the clock strikes midnight. So, I found these two strangers who were also headed out, and we decided to split the cost….
Their entire conversation for the whole thirty-minute drive was “yeah,” followed by “yeah.” They weren’t even drunk or on any drugs, because I could smell them and also tell from their physical signs. I was just wondering the entire time what the cab driver was thinking. We did exchange a few glances, and clearly, both thought they were mad. Reddit User: [redacted]
Fueling the Fire With Stories
A friend and I play this game that whenever we get a taxi, we have the most ridiculous conversations ever in as serious a tone as possible. Some of my favorites are comments like “I know he’s my brother, but he’s also the father of my child, and if my mum can be in a committed relationship with him for years, then so can I….”
Another good one that I use is, “I still don’t think it counts as murder; he was really annoying, and it’s not like anyone could ever find the body. I think I just did the world a favor.” None of the taxi drivers ever respond to what we say. Either they’ve heard worse or they’re too freaked out by us that they don’t know what to say. Reddit User: Emily_Starke
Breaking Up a Fight in a Cab
I’m a taxi driver, and I’ve overheard some pretty crazy things. One night, I was working, and I ended up picking up a group of friends; not sure if they were still friends after that ride, though. It was clear that they had been drinking quite a bit, and that probably made the discussion way worse than it should have been….
One of them brought up the whole conspiracy theory stuff. This then ended up being a full-blown argument about what each of them thought on a few theories. The argument between these guys ended up getting so heated that I had to pull the cab over and try to calm them down. They ended up relaxing a bit after that. Reddit User: KarIPilkington
The Idiot Boyfriend
I’m an Uber driver. My passenger was this really drunk woman who was busy getting berated by her boyfriend for getting drunk with her friends on a “girls’ night out.” I’m not sure if this guy was aware of the fact that it’s basically the whole point of girls going on a night out without their other halves; it’s time to have fun….
Anyway, her phone wasn’t on speaker but loud enough to hear because he was shouting at her so loudly from the other end. He kept saying some really mean things to her, and I could hear it all. As we got closer to her place, the boyfriend came out, and he pretended to be the perfect gentleman and thanked me for bringing her home safely. What an idiot. Reddit User: XROOR
The Oven Against the Man
So I wasn’t in a taxi, but I was walking past a bus stop once if that counts. As I was walking past these two guys, I overheard their conversation. The one guy was in a deep conversation, spilling his heart out, and that’s when I heard him say, “That’s when I realized my oven was trying to kill me….”
That was sadly the only part of the conversation that I heard. I wish I knew the whole story behind it, but I had to run and catch my bus. If I’d had the time, I would have stood there next to them, shamelessly eavesdropping on that seriously insane conversation. I hope he and his oven worked out their issues. Reddit User: Penguin143
The Cab Driver Job Offer
I was once in a cab and chatting to the cab driver. We were making the usual small talk about what I do and all of that. I told him that I was busy studying to become a chemist one day. It’s something I’m really passionate about, so I thought it would be great chatting to a complete stranger about it and make the ride less awkward….
Once I told him what I was studying, he said that he knew some guys who produce drugs. He followed that up by saying that he could chat with them and that maybe I could get a job working with them. I honestly didn’t know what to say to that, and still to this day, I’m 50/50 on whether he was serious or not. Reddit User: DasFrettchen
Gone from Bad to Worse
I was the passenger in this case; my boyfriend and I got picked up from the train station. When the lady asked where we came from, we told her about our trip, how I love Stephen King, and my boyfriend planned out an awesome creepy trip for my birthday staying at the Stanley hotel in room 217….
We told her some of the creepy things we saw and things that happened, and the lady told us that the paranormal voodoo stuff is real. She used voodoo to kill her ex-husband. “I didn’t know what I got myself into. He was a bad guy, I don’t regret it, but two weeks after I stabbed his doll in the heart, he died from a heart attack. He was a perfectly healthy guy; I’ve never touched that stuff again.” Reddit User: namanama101
A Trip With a Lady of the Night
I picked up a “lady of the night” in downtown Minneapolis at 3 am. She gets in the car and is on her phone. I start the trip and see she’s going to Mankato. The ride starts out fairly normal, as she isn’t paying attention to me or what I’m doing. About 20 minutes in, she starts raising her voice at the person on the other end of the call….
From what I can gather, it’s her pimp; he’s furious with her for not bailing another girl out of jail who got caught. He wants to bring her back in the same Uber ride to Mankato because he doesn’t want to pay for two trips. Her response almost made me die of laughter. “That girl didn’t pay me back the bail money from last time; she said that not taking payment for sleeping with my nephew was good enough.” Reddit User: CarlGirbschmidt
The Life Coach Lift
I took an Uber from San Jose to San Francisco; for those of you that don’t know, that’s about an hour’s drive. We were about 20 minutes into the ride, and the Uber driver took a call from her life coach to talk about how she wanted to have a polygamous relationship with her fiancé but he wasn’t into it. My friends and I sat in silence….
We continued to listen for the whole ride as this girl talked about how she wanted to sleep with another guy that she wasn’t engaged to for 20 minutes, and how it was her husband’s fault for her not reaching her “full potential.” It was honestly the most awkward ride of our lives; I wonder what happened in the end, though. Reddit User: TheRockerdude
The Worst Cab I Was Ever Putin
This is a story from my time as a passenger in a cab that was going to LAX for me to catch my flight. The driver happened to be a Russian guy. Also, an important disclaimer that this ride took place in 2011, I think. We spoke for the whole ride, or rather, he did all of the speaking for the trip. What did he say to me?
From start to finish, he took me through exactly how Putin was responsible for everything going on in the world. The ride finally comes to an end, and we reach LAX. I get out of the cab, get my luggage, and as I’m walking towards the entrance of the airport, he yells out the window at me and says, “Don’t forget: Putin.” Reddit User: CherethCutestoryJD
Rave Time in a Lyft
I work as a Lyft driver, and I’ve had some stories in my time. The one that comes to mind first though is when I picked up a stripper. I think she must have been high on something, but all I can guess is that it was maybe acid. We didn’t talk much during the ride, so I didn’t overhear anything strange from her….
The only thing she asked me the entire ride was if we could play music. We proceeded to rave to house music for a fifteen-minute ride. When she got out, she tipped me $15 because she said she was “feeling my energy.” That was a great way to wake up and feel a boost of energy for the rest of the night. Reddit User: POCKET_SCUM
The Halloween Decoration Debacle
I worked as an Uber driver for a couple of years. I always heard some pretty strange conversations, and this one took the cherry for me. These two girls are in my car, and they’re busy chatting away to each other. The one turns to the other with a completely serious look on her face….
She says to the other one, “Did you tell your mom to add me as a beneficiary to her Halloween decorations when she dies?” Firstly, that was ridiculous to hear, but then the response is what made my mouth seriously hang open in shock. Her friend replies, “Yeah, she changed it last week. Oh my gosh, it’s going to happen so soon.” What did I just hear? Reddit User: Citrous_Oyster
Too Crazy to Believe It
I’m not a driver myself, but once using Uberpool (you know what it is) coming back from a late shift at work, I was in the front seat, by the driver, and there were two guys in the backseat. I heard these two guys in the backseat talking about a theft they made the day before. I tried to keep my cool; I noticed the driver heard that too, so he had that “oh no” look on his face….
Those guys’ destination was before mine; they landed, thanked the driver and everything, said good night to me, and all that. When they got out, the driver and I just looked at each other, and he took me to my place. After I got home, I thought, “Ok, those guys were messing with us and talked about it on purpose,” but I never knew for sure. Reddit User: _Wastrel
Just Smile And Wave, Boys
I was the passenger once on an Uber ride, and my driver spoke the entire time. I’m not saying just the normal banter you have with the driver to fill the silence. I’m talking full-on conspiracy theories and all that kind of stuff. He literally spoke about this for a total of eight minutes; I was happy the ride wasn’t longer….
He ended up telling me that Barack Obama’s real name is Barry Soetoro, and he’s a time traveler. When I asked how he knew this, he replied, “It’s all there on YouTube.” This guy was full-on serious about everything he was saying to me. All I could do was just smile and wave, just smile and wave. Reddit User: [redacted]
It Was a Real Cliffhanger Ride
I picked up these two girls one night when I was working as a Lyft driver. There were these two girls getting a ride at around 3:00 am. They were both drunk, but one was way more inebriated than the other. The more drunk girl was trying to get the less drunk girl to go to a swinger’s party….
I heard, “I’ve known this dude since he was six, and I really want to sleep with him tonight.” Then she tried to get me to help her get the other girl to go to the swinger’s party. I of course remained neutral and dropped them off at their house. I never knew if they went or not. That’s the worst part of being a driver; you never hear the end of these crazy stories. Reddit User: Lazybondvillian
Why Did the Guy Cross the Road?
I was fetching a couple one time, and they got into my car. It started as soon as they got in. The woman was tearing him apart, and I felt so awkward sitting in the front seat, having to listen to all of this going on behind me. She said, “I can’t believe you did that; these people are our friends. You need to call them up and apologize….”
The guy is literally on the verge of years, and she physically makes him call up the friends she was referring to and makes him apologize on the phone right there and then. I thought this guy really messed up and had done something bad. What had he done? He had crossed the street to get a piece of pizza without telling his significant other. Reddit User: antiward
The Bad Old Birds
This one time, I picked up these two elderly ladies from an old age home. I was pretty impressed to begin with that they knew how to use the app even to order an Uber. Let’s just say by the end of the ride that I was less than impressed thanks to their topic of conversation. Awkward levels rose to about one hundred at drop-off….
I think these ladies must have been around seventy years old. One of them was even using a walker. During the drive, one of them, the one with the walker, began to tell her friend about this new man she was seeing. She then described their intimate life to her friend. There was also a story in there about her daughter catching them in the act recently. Reddit User: mmnms
Spilling Tea in an Uber
Obligatory not a driver upfront statement. I was actually a passenger with one of my classmates traveling home from university. My fellow passenger asks me if I’ve heard the story of an ex-classmate, let’s call him Julius; I haven’t, so she spills the gossip about him in the ride. She starts just to let it all out then and there….
“He’s actually the love-child of his father and eldest sister and doesn’t know it. He also has a kid that’s already in preschool, and that’s why the kid has learning disabilities and such.” It turns out she was almost correct. I asked Julius, and he said he knows. That’s the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had with a girl, and it happened in the back of an Uber. Reddit User: Registrationfail3d
A Once in a Lifetime Bad Day
As an Uber passenger, I was on one of those lifts that share rides. The other passenger that got picked up earlier was in a spectacularly bad mood, and the driver was behaving oddly too. He wasn’t reacting to this passenger, who was just going on raging about anything and everything in sight. I was confused but fine, whatever, and put my headphones in….
The other passenger leaves without saying goodbye. They slam the door shut with maximum force. The driver says, “Sorry about that, but she’s having a once in a lifetime bad day; two family members died today.” Now that was a situation I didn’t expect to find myself in on that day. I was silent for the rest of the ride. Reddit User: AnomalyNexus
You Drive What You Get Dealt
I had two drug dealers in my car the one time. I didn’t know it at first, but then I overheard what they were speaking about. They were clearly from out of town and settling into the city, because they asked me where kids go once college starts. Also, they were using keywords or just “product” when describing their business to each other….
I didn’t say much; I just made sure to answer any questions they asked me during the ride. I didn’t know if these guys were the real deal or just people trying their luck with selling drugs. Finally, I dropped them off and breathed a huge sigh of relief. They were also messing with a lot of money in the back seat. Total giveaway. Reddit User: NextChamp
A New Year’s Eve to Forget
I had a couple break up in my car. It was this past New Year’s Eve. After I get to the pickup location, the girl asks me to wait a minute because there was some drama. The drama was that her boyfriend wanted to drive home, but he had been drinking. The girlfriend told a party full of frat bros this and instantly had an army of frat bros eager to fight her boyfriend over it….
After much yelling, aggressive gestures, and flexing, the couple eventually get into my car and proceed to argue. He says, “Sir, please let me out about a block down the road.” She then says, “Sir! If you let him out, he might drive home drunk!” He then says that he’ll walk home instead. She cried the whole way to her place; it was very awkward. Reddit User: Dovaldo83
Drop And Drive
I’m an Uber driver in Las Vegas, which is pretty fun and exciting sometimes. One day, I picked up this guy who already looked dodgy as anything but whatever, it’s money at the end of the day, and I’m sure that everything will be ok. First off, the man changed where he wanted to go, and then started talking on his phone about picking up some substances….
This was when I got worried. He asked me to stop at a gas station to pick up cigarettes. I said sure and drove him to the nearest gas station. The guy got out, and literally, as soon as he had closed the door of my car, I ended the ride and drove off. I was not sticking around to take him to find his stash; no thank you. Reddit User: reble02
A Pill a Day
I work as an Uber driver. It’s a really entertaining job sometimes, but that leads to crazy stories like this one. One evening, these three ladies get into the back of the car, and they look normal enough. From listening in on their conversation, I figure out that they’re elementary school teachers. They then start talking about grading papers while on pills….
They then discuss what one teacher does to get the substances for free. They’re teachers, so they don’t do anything terrible, but apparently, the one teacher goes on awkward dates with their dealer so they don’t have to pay for them. At the end of the ride, they look at me and giggle. The one says, “Oops, I forgot we were in an Uber.” Reddit User: [redacted]
A Race to the Airport
I was a driver in Texas. I was driving a guy to the airport because supposedly his mother in another state died, and a new ‘friend’ put all her assets in her name, so she was pushing to cremate the mother immediately. He was trying to make it there to stop that from happening. The guy was basically talking on the phone with his brother telling him all that was happening….
He believed that the woman drugged her, and when she was the most vulnerable, made her sign over her house and money to her after her death. It was so hectic, and I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was get that guy to the airport as quickly as possible so that he could figure out what to do in this crazy situation. Reddit User: Nortenero
Don’t Judge a Rider by Their Cover
As a Lyft driver, I haven’t encountered any weird conversations. But I was overhearing this guy talk on the phone forever with a doctor or an interviewer. But this took a darkish turn, because he had to start talking about which medicine he was on. A lot of the meds he mentioned seemed like something a depressed person would take….
Sure enough, he was explaining over the phone that he was suffering from depression and insomnia. He looked like any normal kid too. He went on to explain some other stuff I won’t mention. This was his third ride he had taken with me, surprisingly. I dropped him off at his university and at his work the other two times, so I thought he was just any other normal college kid. Reddit User: Eljewfro
From Social to Sleeping
You’ll be absolutely shocked by this story. Uber has led me to hear some of the weirdest things that you can’t even imagine. But this one day, I picked up my last fare for the night, and it was about one in the morning. It was these two ladies who were headed home after a fun Friday night, I guess….
They were really sociable at first, and then after 10 minutes into the drive that was going to be about an hour long, I realized that both of them were sleeping. They were full-on passed out in the back of my Uber. This was the weirdest conversation: the sound of silence and maybe the occasional snore or two. Reddit User: StarSailorXIV
To Donate or Not to Donate
The one time I had a guy in my car, and I overheard his conversation with his wife. First off, I don’t think that this was a conversation that they should have been having on the phone; it seemed more like a sit-down discussion kind of thing. Apparently he had a lesbian couple ask him to be their DNA donor for their child….
Let’s just say that the wife did not like it at all. He then proceeded to go into great detail about why someone would want his DNA in their child based off all of his desirable traits. He literally listed them off one by one, and the wife ended up shooting them all down. I wonder if they’re still together or not. Reddit User: Pushigoh
What Day of the Week Is It
I was a passenger in an Uber, but I think the driver found it hilarious in the end. When I got into the car, I was on the phone with my mom. We were just chatting to begin with; it had been a long day, and it’s always good to chat with her then. Plus, it meant I didn’t have to sit in silence with the driver or make conversation with him….
My mom and I actually ended up having an argument about what day it was. I had to hang up in the end because I was getting so frustrated with her. I’d had a bad day, what can I say. When I hung up, the Uber driver just laughed at me. Before I got out of the car, he turned to me and said, “She was right.” Reddit User: hygsi