Doing These Things Will Almost Assuredly Ruin A First Date
As great as the opportunity is to meet a potential partner on a first date, there are plenty of things that people do to mess things up. From ignoring the date or not showing up, to oversharing and trying too hard, these common missteps almost always assure that a second date isn’t in the cards…
Showing Up Late…Or Not At All
It’s easy to lose track of time when you’re getting ready for a date, and although many websites state that the latest you should arrive is 30 minutes past the arranged meet-up time, turning up any later than 15 minutes is usually interpreted as offensive. To make matters worse, some people don’t bother to text or call, and there are also those who don’t show up at all.
Not Dressing The Part
Have you ever heard the phrase “you never get a second chance to make a first impression?” Well, it may not be a very popular saying, but it is true for many daters. Whether you are going to a picnic in the park, or a Broadway show, dressing the part makes all the difference.
Talking Too Much
Getting to know your date and vice versa is the whole point of dating, but when this process is dominated by someone who has ‘me me me’ syndrome, it can completely turn off the other person. A study showed that 30% of women and 21% of men would not give a person a second shot if they monopolized the conversation.
Judging Your Date Based On Their Dietary Choices
For those going out on dinner dates, there are times when your date will choose the meal with the highest caloric value or a delicacy that is not in line with your current dietary choices. Food can be a bit of a sore spot for some people, so instead of turning up your nose or asking them if they’re really going to eat that, just make a mental note of it.
Showing Up With Someone
First dates can be intimidating, so having your best friend tag along to wait while your date arrives is completely understandable. Things begin to get uncomfortable when said friend stays for the duration of the date casually keeping an eye on what is going on.
Texting Or Answering Calls While On Your Date
There’s nothing that says, “I’m wasting your time,” like choosing to pay attention to your phone rather than your date. At any point during a 2 to 4-hour date, you will receive a text or phone call, and while some people don’t mind if you respond to a call, constantly picking up is a huge turnoff. If you really need to respond to a message, take your phone with you on a bathroom break.
Making Excuses When The Bill Comes
If you notice that funds are low as the day to your date is getting closer, then rescheduling the date may be a better option than acting as if your credit card is acting up at the exact moment that you need to use it. Your date’s phone may begin to act up and never remember to call or text you afterward.
Not Offering To Pay For Your Share Of The Bill
This one goes for both guys and girls. It’s always nice to be treated to a great date, but you don’t have to let the other person know that they should pay for the whole experience. Always offer to pay for your share, but if your date wants to foot the bill, then, by all means, let them.
Bashing Your Exes
Talking about exes or past relationships happens more often than you think. And while there is nothing wrong with explaining what went wrong the last time you were in love, you should not go into too much detail about how it went south. What can completely turn your date off is calling them names or pointing out their flaws.
Talking About Your Current Friendships With Your Exes
Talking about an ex is one thing, but telling your date that your exes are still in your life can raise a lot of red flags for quite a few people. Whether you catch up with them a few times a year or see them every week, there are those who will not want anything to do with it. Exes are exes for a reason, and we’re not saying that you should cut them off, but can you really move on if they’re still in your life?
Drinking Too Much
It’s very hard to resist a good drink special, but sometimes skipping the extra shot might be the best thing for both of you. Many people tend to say and do things that they wouldn’t do when they are intoxicated, and no one wants to be around a hot mess who has to go home early because they can’t handle their liquor.
Not Listening To Your Date
One of the worst things that you can do is not listen to what your date has to say. Besides talking over them, many people wait to speak rather than listen to what others have to say. It makes it exceedingly awkward when the other person says, “I just said that,” or “didn’t you hear what I said.”
Pretending To Be Someone You’re Not
Along with lying, which is somewhere further down the list, acting like someone you’re not will only hurt you in the long run. No one likes a phony, and when your date catches on, which will happen, it’s not going to be pretty.
Putting In Too Little Or Too Much Effort
Many people struggle in this department as there is a fine line between doing too little and too much and because they are both equally disastrous. Not making an effort makes your date feel like you don’t care, while doing too much can scare them away.
Starting An Argument
People have different opinions, and you need to be mindful of that. When expressing your opinion on a particular issue, try not to start a war of words. You’re just getting to know each other, and that includes finding out what you don’t see eye to eye on. There’s no need to argue about.
Pushing For Intimacy
A first date isn’t the time to assess whether you’d be able to get some action, despite how physically attracted you are to your date. If the feeling is mutual, then it may just happen organically. But if you’re not sure, try not to broach the conversation or “feel it out” until you get to know the person a little better.
Choosing A Noisy Place For The Date
Dating is defined as “a stage of romantic relationships whereby people meet socially to assess the other’s suitability as a prospective partner.” If you can’t hear what the person is saying, then we’re not sure what the point of going out is.
Forgetting Your Date’s Name
It happens, especially when it is a blind date. If for whatever reason, you forget their name, try to be smooth about it. There are several things that you can do to try to recover from this potential disaster; you can contact the person who set you up, or you hand them your phone to let them add their name and number into their contacts. If you think that its too much work, just apologize for forgetting their name.
Not Calling Or Texting Back
While going out on dates is an important part of finding a potential match, following up is just as important. Often times, many people are afraid to say how they truly feel when they are face to face with their date, so checking in after, even if it is to be friend-zoned, provides clarity/closure.
Indulging In A Vice
A vice is defined as “a practice, behavior, considered to be immoral, rude, taboo, or degrading in the associated society.” Simply put, it is an “unhealthy habit.” On the list of vices are smoking, chewing tobacco, and biting your nails. Because many peoples are turned off by these behaviors, not indulging might increase your chances of getting that second date.
Checking Out Or Flirting With Someone Else
One of the quickest ways to end a date and possibly anger the other person is to check out or flirt with somebody else. Even if you do find another person more attractive, your date deserves to be shown some respect, so try your best not to let your eyes wander.
Constantly Checking Yourself Out
We understand the need to look good for your date, and making sure that you look the part can be done a few times on the way to the date and during your bathroom breaks. But, if you are the type of person who uses any reflective surface to catch a glimpse of yourself, rest assured that your date will notice and the last thing you want is for them to think that you are vain.
Being Too Loud
It is completely understandable if you need to raise your voice because you and your date may not be able to hear each other, although it can be annoying. However, it does not mean that you have to be the loudest person in the room. Being loud often brings unwanted attention to both you and your date, and depending on the subject being discussed, some embarrassment.
Bring Up Controversial Topics
This is perhaps one of the biggest dating no-nos. Controversial issues include any subject matter which can create a difference of opinion. While the definition is quite broad, they generally include most religious and political subjects, as well as various medical topics – euthanasia, abortions, medical cannabis, etc. A difference of opinion and the inability to see the other person’s point of view is enough to call it quits right then and there, so be careful with this one.
Talking About All The Things You Own
Everyone wants to make a great impression on their date, and unfortunately, quite a few people think that listing everything they own is going to do the trick. If you keep talking about the things that you own, how much they cost, and how you got them, you will appear un-relatable, shallow, and full of yourself.
Constantly Making Jokes Or Using Chat Up Lines
Using jokes and chat-up lines is a great way to break the ice, but very few things are more annoying than when your date keeps using these chat-up lines or constantly makes light of every situation. Being funny is one of the most desired traits when looking for a partner, but it is not something that you can force.
Asking Them How Much They Make
There is a fine line between getting to know your date and being nosy, and in the same way that you stay away from controversial topics, there are some things that you should never ask your date. Among them, is asking how much they earn. Not only is it rude to ask, but you may also come off as a bit of a gold digger.
Introducing Them To Your Family Or Close Friends
You’d be surprised at how often people bump into their relatives and close friends while out on a date. The risk of introducing your date to the people who know you best so early on, is the potential exposure to embarrassing things that they may share and ask. If you do see someone you know, it’s best to keep it brief, and catch up with them another time.
Whether you’re at work, home, or out on the town, it’s no fun being around a negative people. If you go into your date thinking that it’s going to end badly, the negative attitude is likely to persist during the entire date. Showing your date that negative side this early on will significantly decrease your chances of being asked out for a second date.
Along with being a negative person, complaining during your date is another way scare your date away. Do you hate your job? Did your cab to get to the date smell bad? Is your beverage too strong? Even if the answers to those questions are yes, there’s no need to share those details with your date.
Posting Aspects Of Your Date On Social Media
Social media has become an integral part in many of our lives, and if you are the type of person who likes to put everything on the internet, be mindful that your date may not feel the same way. Posting photos or stories of your date without their permission is one way to get blocked and deleted.
Swearing Too Much
If you’re one of those people who can’t go a paragraph without swearing, it’s best to try to gauge how your date feels about it before you let it all out. If the person sitting nearby drops an f-bomb and your date turns up their nose, then you’ve just learned that your date may not be accepting of your sailor’s mouth.
Talking About How Badly You Want Children
Talking about children on a first date is a very touchy subject, and it can be a double-edged sword. It would be good to know if your date has or wants children, but if you decide to mention how quickly you’d like to get started, or how many you want to have, you may never see that person again.
Going On And On About Your Favorite Shows or Movies
Passion is a great quality to possess, and many people are passionate about what they watch. If a particular television show, movie, or fictional character has made a significant impact on your life, it is perfectly fine to let your date know, and it even better when you two can bond over mutual interests. But, if you decide to go into detail about the show or characters, or even speak as if they were real, it can completely turn your date off.
Agreeing With Everything They Say
If you genuinely agree with your date’s views on different topics then that’s great, but if you think agreeing with everything your date says is going to make them like you more, it may work for the first few dates, but eventually, it’s going to become an issue.
Talking About The Other Dates That You Have Lined Up
The excitement and nerves that come with meeting someone new can sometimes cause us to say things that we regret. Those little slips can be laughed off but if you feel the need to share your future relationship prospects with your date, don’t expect your date to call back.
Ordering Your Date’s Food For Them
This entry is a bit of a tricky one because you find people on either side of the fence. While it may be okay to convey an order if your date is running late, many people view this take-charge attitude as a sign that their date is controlling.
Sharing Details That You Should Keep To Yourself, At Least For Now
While you need to get to know each other, there are some things that you don’t tell the other person as soon as you meet them. If you still live with an ex or have a parole officer, you can keep that to yourself until the second or third date.
Forgetting Your Manners
It is important to make a good first impression, and one of the ways to do that is to demonstrate good manners. You don’t need to know when every utensil should be used, but if you remember the basics – chewing with your mouth closed, not slurping your soup or drink, and keeping your elbow off the table, you’ll be just fine.
Spoiler: people lie on their dates. In fact, a survey estimated that more than 50% of people think that it’s okay to do so. If you aren’t planning on seeing that person again, then you can likely get away with a little embellishment, but even then- what’s the point? And if you plan on building a future with that person, then this should be a non-negotiable. Be 100% honest from the get-go.