Here’s Why You Want To Set An Intention For Your New Relationship
Did you forget to look before you took the leap into your last relationship? The butterflies in your stomach and senseless giggling can send you over the moon, no doubt, but maybe you’re looking to stay level-headed this time?
Setting an intention from the very beginning of your relationship allows you to honor both you and your partner, while still being able to ride the high tides of your new romance. Here are some practical purposes for setting an intention for your new romantic endeavor.
Define the Relationship
DTR is more than a three-letter phrase. It may seem odd to define your relationship with someone you just met; don’t wait too long. A 5-minute chat to tell them you’re still unsure or would like to continue seeing them is crucial. It lays the foundation for healthy communication later down the road.
Peace of Mind
Leave picking at daises to the 7 year-olds. Setting an intention gives you peace of mind because you determine your rules. You don’t have to spend hours wondering whether he’ll text you back or if she’s into you. An intention allows you to trust in the process and be at ease.
You wouldn’t expect your partner to date around if you two are serious. Without setting the expectations early and often, you might be offended if they see other people. An expectation for your actions allows both of you to be on the same page. If your expectations don’t align, maybe the relationship isn’t right for you.
Stop Wasting Your Time
We’ve all sat through a “that should’ve been an email” meeting. Maybe you’ve spent several months with a person only to find out you’re one of several people they’re dating. An early intention allows you both to be on the same page and avoid sinking months or years into a relationship that should’ve been three dates.
Confidence in Who You Are
Am I tall enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I rich enough? New relationships bring new anxieties. Even the simplest intentions like sharing a positive and negative event of the day can build trust. Intentions help you show up authentically and confidently in who you are.
Confidence in Who They Are
Have you ever felt like you and your date’s conversation is like pulling teeth? Believe it or not, they may have the same anxieties and fears of rejection as you. Holding the intention of non-judgment can help your new partner feel confident sharing with you. Again, it builds trust and honesty.
Know Your Role
It’d be weird if your boss gave you unwanted dating advice. That’s not her role. If you set an intention to take things slow, maybe that means you won’t be meeting your partner’s daughter for a few months. A defined intention helps you know what role you can play in your new partner’s life and see if you enjoy it or not.
Know the Communication
One man’s honesty is another man’s rudeness. You haven’t had the time to interpret all your new paramour’s love languages. If she tells you she doesn’t like your haircut, her honesty may mean she really likes you. If you set the intentions of how you want to be spoken to, you’re less likely to be offended by a comment not intended to be hurtful.
If your intention is something more casual, both partners should know the other’s boundaries. Although showing up at their office with a bouquet of flowers may seem well-intentioned, but you may have overstepped their boundaries if you did not take the time to communicate with your new partner. You’ll also be able to determine if your boundaries feel healthy or too controlling.
Know Where You’re Going
Although it’s fun to wander, wandering in relationships could cost you. If one of you intends on marriage and the other intends on wandering, there could be some bumpy trails ahead. You don’t need to stamp an expiration date on your new relationship, but you both should have some agreed milestones or checkpoints to determine if you’re still on the same path.
Know When You’ve Gotten There
You may be wary of having a checkpoint at first, but you’ll be thankful when you get there. Maybe something in the relationship is not working for you. Rather than sticking it out without a clear goal in mind, you can make a clean exit if you and your partner have not arrived at the same destination.
Many new romances ride on the backs of novelty. If you’ve taken the time to set an intention in the bedroom, you can truly live in the moment and stop being distracted by your own insecurities. A clear intention allows you to work in your own truth especially when you may be feeling vulnerable.
Avoid Hurt Feelings
“But I was in love with you!” That’s a line in most romance movies. You are entitled to your own feelings and emotions. An intention for a defined relationship gives immediate closure if things don’t work out. You can skip the movie drama and be clear about why it’s not working regardless of who is unhappy.
More fun means more intimacy. Most of the things that can impede you and your partner’s intimacy stem from miscommunication. Intention is the true meaning behind the things we say and do. If you feel like your partner has the relationship’s highest intentions at heart, you’ll see the positive effects in the bedroom.
Your Friends Know How to Support You
Every relationship is different. As well-meaning as your friends are, without a clear intention for your relationship, they’ll advise you on what they would do. If you intend to marry your partner, hookup advice is not what you need. If your friends know your true intentions, they can support you along the way.
It Slows Things Down
New relationships are great! Your heart is racing. Your palms are sweaty. You’re talking a million words a minute. Setting an intention for the pace of the relationship actually helps slows things down. It allows you to pause and think about what you want even while your body is in hyperdrive.
It Speeds Things Up
Now that you’ve laid your cards on the table, you can instantly see what matches. Setting an honest intention for yourself and the relationship can speed things up because you spend less time playing the guessing game. That means more experiences as a couple who has broken down the pre-game jitters.
See When Things Aren’t Acceptable
Did you ever play pick-up soccer as a kid? One kid always tried to dribble way outside of the lines because no one told him they were there. The same goes for new relationships. If your partner goes way out of bounds after you’ve set your intentions, be cautious moving forward. They may not have the maturity to honor your wishes.
Attract Who You Really Want
If your intention is to find a life partner to adventure and start a family with, you should be hesitant about dating a couch potato. Having an intention even before you begin dating helps you weed out the people you know are not going to fit into your lifestyle. You’re not being picky. You’re being purposeful, and purpose is attractive.
Hold True to Your Vision
There’s no reason to sacrifice your dreams or put your career on hold if that’s not your true vision. Setting an intention may look like you and your new beau talking about your work commitments. If they’re not interested in dating someone who works long hours, that’s something you need to know.
Now that the dust has settled, and you’ve created clear intentions for your relationship, you can be who you are. If you label yourself as a geek/jock who likes to collect socks, then be a geek/jock who likes to collect socks. An intention prevents you from compromising who you are for someone else.
In the same ilk, your partner should be allowed to express themselves in a way that’s most true to who they are. If your intentions are simply to get to know each other more, that intention alone will help drive an honest conversation and self-expression. The more comfortable they feel, the more you experience who they truly are.
Work in Honesty
Speaking of honesty, it’s the crux of any relationship. If you intend to launch into a serious, honest relationship and your date shows up looking nothing like their profile picture, reevaluate. It’s a hard line to toe when you don’t know how much you should share in the beginning. An intention to work in truth will bring your dating game to a more meaningful level.
The worst break-ups are the ones you never saw coming. You spent hours on the phone. You loved being in their presence. You think everything is going dandy until they want to break-up. If you and your new partner commit to clear, mutual intentions, you’ll be able to talk about what is and isn’t working before you get the “We need to talk” text.
See Your Habits
You have annoying habits. Everyone does. When you create a clear line of communication you open up the discussion to talk about how you’re glued to your phone, or how he chews too loudly. Some habits are harmless. Some are not. As a couple, you both should talk about what’s really important to you.
Break Your Habits
Maybe the reason your phone habit is frustrating to your partner is that he believes you ignore him. Even if you’re “listening” to what he says, understanding that he wants your attention and is hurt when you focus on less meaningful things. You may have not intended to hurt his feelings, but now that a habit has been communicated, you can decide whether to address it or not.
Clear Out the Junk
Do your past relationships still haunt you? Before launching head over heels into a brand new relationship, find out what you want and don’t want. You might find you have a lot of old beliefs (junk) that need to be cleared out before you can start anew. A goal to respect each other could be a promise to yourself that you deserve better.
Time flies when you’re having fun. If you and your partner know each other’s intentions, you can begin to turn your critical brain off. Now, you’re laughing louder, experiencing more adventures, and living in a way you can feel gratitude for. What better way to spend your time than with someone who has more fun?
Know When You’re Off Track
People change. Relationships change. As you progress in your relationship, your intention acts as the compass. If one or both of you is feeling off, revisit your intentions and evaluate where you both are. Maybe it’s time to course correct or maybe set new intentions. Without your original intentions, you have no baseline to compare your trajectory.
Create What You Want
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. If you want to create the relationship you’ve always dreamed about, you have put your intentions at the center. You are the artist and creator, and your intention holds your vision. You can create that relationship if you and your partner hold and commit to your intentions.
Who do you trust the most? Whoever that person is, you probably love them and know they have your highest good in mind. Now, what if this person was your partner? Does the thought of setting an intention to share all of your emotions openly with your partner frighten you? Setting and accomplishing a small intention builds the trust you need to tackle even greater ones.
While you can physically grow stronger in your relationship, you want to grow spiritually stronger too. Every time you put faith and trust in one another, you strengthen your relationship. You build a foundation that’s based on countless experiences of trust and honesty. Your relationship is built to withstand the storms of life, and you’ll discover that you’ve constructed a sturdy shelter.
Be More Aware
Movies sensationalize romances that will sweep you off your feet. Strong river currents can sweep you off your feet too, but you don’t romanticize that. The point is your new relationship should contain more than just your feelings. You may be too blind to notice the red flags as you’re being swept away. Intentions help you stay aware of the things you may not see.
Less Room for Doubt
“How do I know if…?” People will visit psychics, ask their therapists, and even the grocery store clerk if the person they’re dating is ‘the one.’ If your goal is to find someone who makes you feel over the moon and confident about who you are, how can someone else determine that for you? If they satisfy your every intention effortlessly, what are you doubting?
Practice Healthy Relationship
One day, she’ll pick the trail. The next day, you’ll decide on dinner. It’s tricky trying to avoid stepping on toes at the beginning of your relationship (even several years down the road). A healthy relationship brings joy in knowing that you both can share in each other’s experiences and judgment.
If your thoughts are arrows, your intentions are the target. You can’t get good at something you don’t practice. It sounds like a fortune cookie but in order to create the relationship you want from intentions, you must set the intention to practice intention. It may not make sense now, but it will once you start with a small intentional practice.
“Don’t worry. Be happy” is a great song, but most people need a few more instructions for their happiness. What makes you happy? Chances are, many of them are listed in this article. If you’re still reading, you see happiness is an accumulation of little things that can be set by your own intentions.
Do you spend every waking thinking about your new relationship? As exciting as it all is, that mindset is not sustainable. Long term couples rarely remain completely obsessed with the other. If you do encounter them, they’re unbalanced. Instead, find a healthy relationship that builds their own balance by creating personal time and space for themselves.
Learn Your Voice
Frustrated partners in relationships might say, “I’m not a mind reader! What do you want from me?” Your intentions mean nothing if your partner has never heard them. As you set intentions also consider how you will share them with your partner. This process helps you to be mindful as you navigate how to use your voice as your platform.
Stand Your Ground
Compromise isn’t everything. Because you laid out who you are and what you wanted the relationship to be from early on, you can refer to it later when you encounter a non-negotiable. You’ve already set up the boundaries and spoken your piece. If you default on your word, you run the risk of losing faith in yourself.
Stand Their Ground
It takes two to tango. If your partner backtracks on their word, you might not know if it was truly important to them or not. You know where you stand when your partner takes a stand. It’s a vital piece to your growth process. When they speak up, you know it is coming from a place of truth.
Be Free to Love
At the end of the day, your intentions help you live and love as freely as possible. If you practice seeing what you want, setting that goal, and executing the vision, you and your partner can manifest anything. You’ll find your intention practice will continue to grow as you create.