People Reveal The Embarrassing Moments That Keep Them Awake At Night

People Reveal The Embarrassing Moments That Keep Them Awake At Night

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Embarrassing moments happen every day; it’s just a part of being human. You may say “you too!” after the waitress tells you to enjoy your food or stumble over a few words during your work presentation. But some moments are just so brutally embarrassing that they pop into your head even years after the fact, making you wonder what you were thinking to do such a humiliating thing.

Photo: creativecommons.org/quinn.anya

Sure, others may not dwell on your past trauma as much as you do…but that doesn’t make the time you sang off key in your high school talent show any better. Or when you thought that person wearing the earpiece in public was speaking to you. The list of humiliating moments goes on and on, and the people of the internet have tons of stories to make you feel better. Read on as people share the most embarrassing moments from their past that they just can’t seem to live down.

Honey, I Kissed Your Dad

I married into an Italian and Greek family. Very affectionate, does the cheek kiss thing upon greeting and departing…the whole caboodle. I came from a no touch home. We didn’t kiss, hug, shoulder pat or touch each other in any way, shape, or form, so it took me a good amount of time to get used to this type of behavior.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Penningtron

There was a point in the summer when I was still new to the family that my father-in-law went in to kiss my cheek. I turned to kiss him and we accidentally brushed lips. We immediately drew back from each other, and he poked fun at me for “not turning the right way” only for me to die a little inside. Luckily, nobody else was there to witness the destruction of my soul. But I will never forget that for as long as I live. Reddit user: Fluttermun

Missed the Mark

I was really sleepy and out of it one night, and I got a phone call. I thought the caller ID said ‘Matt,’ which was the name of a good friend at the time, so I yelled, “What’s up, you sexy beast!” into the phone. But it turns out it wasn’t Matt, it was Mark, who was my boss at the time.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Jeena Paradies

He was calling to ask if I could come in that evening to cover a shift. Besides the fact that I was clearly in no condition to work…he was a very old school guy. In his late fifties, no sense of humor, all work and no play. The awkward silence before he awkwardly pretended he hadn’t heard it will haunt me forever. Reddit user: kingofvodka

All Tricks, No Treats

It was Halloween, and I was out trick-or-treating with my little brother when we were kids. This woman several houses down is standing on her porch looking directly at me and yells out, “Hey! Do you want to go trick-or-treating with us?” My brother is across the street, so I scream uncomfortably loudly, “Hey, you wanna trick or treat with them?”

Photo: creativecommons.org/Johnragai-Moment Catcher

I turn back to the woman and she goes, “Oh…actually I was talking to those people” and points behind me to different kids. Looking back, it was probably just as embarrassing for her as it was for me, but even as a kid, it made such an impact. I died that day, and my corpse has walked the world for 17 years. Reddit user: blyat56

It’s Your Funeral

The worst was on a busy Saturday where I had 3 funerals and a wedding to play as an organist. As you can imagine, it’s not always the most fun job, and it takes a lot out of you physically and mentally. By the time the wedding finally arrived after the 3 funerals were over, I must’ve been tired or daydreaming, because this happened….

Photo: creativecommons.org/Gamma Man

I played funeral procession music as the bride entered the church rather than the Trumpet Voluntary, as scheduled. She still walked and everything went as scheduled, but I could tell by the confused glances all around the church that I had majorly messed up. I’m lucky I didn’t get blacklisted forever. Reddit user: Back2Bach

A Hairy Situation

Back in high school, I was sitting at a girls’ basketball game when I sat down next to one of “the cool guys.” I’m trying to be social with him, and we start to chat it up about the girls. Well, there’s one girl on the team who had hypotrichosis, meaning she had no hair on her entire body. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/chipgriffin

Me being a super immature kid, I do something I will regret for my entire existence. I lean over to him and say “Well, that can’t be all bad, right?” Then you know, give him the “nudge nudge, wink wink.” He looks at me with a straight face and says, “That’s my sister.” Most awkward silence of my high school years. Reddit user: [redacted]

Anna McFarnbook

I had to help a few teachers for a day at school. I was asked to grab an “Animal Farm book” from a classroom. I got to the classroom, asked for “Anna McFarnbook” at least 5 times, then realized 30 minutes later that I completely misread the call. I guess if I ever decide to change my name, this should be it. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/EaglebrookSchool

I ended up not even going back to the classroom; I just admitted my defeat and moved on. Well, kind of moved on. It’s been many years since this happened and I still wonder what exactly is wrong with me and my ears that I couldn’t put three very basic words together. Hope my kids never want to read the Animal Farm book. Reddit user: poetry-divided

Joker Moment

There’s a woman I go to school with. We have mutual friends and I find her physically attractive, but despite that, my feelings toward her are…a mixed bag (for lack of a better term). During freshman year, I was leaving a room one day and almost walked right by her. When I noticed it was her, my brain and heart panicked simultaneously.

Photo: creativecommons.org/pentecostalsofoc

After duking it out, the two came to the conclusion that the perfect response to this dilemma was to start laughing. Maniacally. She stopped, turned around, and stared at me. Other people who left surrounding rooms stopped to stare at me. I was so mortified, but I couldn’t stop. I’m pretty sure I was still laughing as I made my escape. Reddit user: Viaotic

Did I Just Say That?

I had a good friend in high school whose dad had recently passed away from cancer. He was still grieving pretty hard, and I tried my best to help him through it…but you can only do so much, you know? A group of us were hanging out at lunch break and somehow we got onto the topic of Finding Nemo. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/sweemenghacker

It was like something ridiculous and insensitive had taken over my body, because I suddenly blurted out, “Imagine if Nemo’s dad was dead!” The room just went silent, and then I made it way worse by immediately going, “Uh, sorry.” It was possibly the cringest moment of my life, and I still have no idea why I said it. Reddit user: BlueManRagu

Fist Bump Gone Wrong

There was one morning at my previous job where I worked as a drafting assistant, and my job was to check on the mechanics of the area and everything. I came across two mechanical engineers working on a door. I can’t recall exactly what I was doing at that moment, but one of the engineers reached out his fist to give me a friendly morning fist bump.

Photo: creativecommons.org/k.OmpOt

I’d love to be able to say that I was tired that morning, or that I was simply too preoccupied with what I was doing. But that would be a lie. I lowered my clipboard and my pen, and I stared at his fist for a good moment. I then turned to look up towards the man’s face. I stared some more. And then I turned my attention back to his fist and continued to look. 

The man was still holding his fist out waiting for me. But at this point, my lack of response got the attention of the other engineer he was working with. And so now he was looking at me. Two engineers staring directly at me, one with his fist out, and me looking at the fist. Finally, though, I begin to outstretch my hand.

However, instead of reaching out and returning the fist bump in kind, I extended my index finger. The two men’s attention followed my hand. And, like a child touching a foreign substance, I pressed my finger to his fist. The man slowly returned his fist. He and his partner became transfixed on the part of his hand that my finger touched. The man held his hand up to see if I left a mark. His partner joined him in looking. There was no mark. They looked back towards me. I looked at them and then smiled. Reddit user: FedUpPokemonFan

Not a Smooth Confession

I was once convinced to ask out my crush in school. I was 15 (now 20) and my best friend said, “If you don’t ask her out, I’m telling her you like her.” So I built up all of my very limited confidence, walked up to her, stuttered massively and said, “So, I like you and stuff.” That’s it, that’s all I said.

Photo: creativecommons.org/sherril8

She didn’t say yes, as you can imagine. As a man who’s now got a lot more confidence with women, it’s embarrassing when this is mentioned. It’s been five years, and the same friend still makes a joke of it. Honestly, I blame him for this whole embarrassing ordeal anyway. It never would have happened if he hadn’t threatened to tell her. Whatever. Reddit user: jamiev99

Frog in My Throat

I was in third grade, and it was show and tell. A classmate had brought in a frog, and people were allowed to hold it if they wanted to. I thought I was so edgy for being the only girl that was willing to do so. I got the frog in my hands, then said, “Aww, how cu-” and that’s when the frog jumped into my mouth.

Photo: creativecommons.org/suzylagasa

It was just like that scene in The Parent Trap when the stepmom gets a lizard stuck in her mouth, and I can’t say my reaction was any better, being 7 and all. It’s a moment that still haunts me all these years later, not only because it was humiliation incarnate but also deeply traumatizing. I will never hold a frog again. Reddit user: skylake00

A Sad Misunderstanding

I worked at a cancer center in my early 20s. The most hated part of my job was calling up the people who had not booked their yearly post-treatment check-ups. 80% of the time, that person was deceased. One ordinary day, I was calling my list, and the family member of the patient was clearly about to tell me he was deceased. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/amtec_photos

At that very moment, a coworker walked past the desk and said, “The food you ordered is in the break room.” Speaking to him, I said, “Ok, great.” Then I was hit with a wave of dread when I heard the deceased man’s wife say, “Great? Screw you!” and slam the phone down. I tried to call her back, no answer. I sent an official letter of apology, no response. It still haunts me. Reddit user: chickenpants80

Getting Too Friendly

I was at a bar by myself one night after helping a friend move. My night started normal enough, with me just sitting at the bar enjoying a few beers, but then I got to talking to some strangers, and then we started laughing and talking. Then we were buying each other drinks, and then we were doing shots. You get the picture.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Martin Cathrae

Then they left, and I was by myself at this bar again…absolutely drunk out of my mind. Well drunk me decides to be all outgoing with everyone standing outside smoking and decides to do this by walking up next to some nice gentleman, putting my arm around him, and complimenting his hair. I then turn to the other dozen patrons and say, “Hey, who’s got better hair, him or me?”

I hadn’t even done anything with my hair; it doesn’t make any sense why I did this. It was just on my head looking like regular hair. That group was looking at me like that one meme where all those people are looking at the camera with “WTF?” faces. The guy politely removed my arm from his shoulder and went off with his friends.

Then it was just me and these two older women standing outside. One of them looks at me and goes, “Your hair isn’t all that great” before stubbing her cigarette out and going inside with her friend. Ouch. Reddit user: Cyphmos

Bad Shot

Around 14 years ago when I was in high school, I was walking past a female friend of mine. I was going to the guys’ bathroom, and she was leaving the girls’ bathroom, so there wasn’t anyone around. We exchanged pleasantries, and I put my hand up for a high five. She made some comments making fun of me but participated in the high five.

Photo: creativecommons.org/permanently scatterbrained

I went to give her a pat on the back, misjudged completely, and hit her butt on accident…but it didn’t register until I was in the bathroom. She never said anything, but I’m sure she probably thought that I had done it on purpose. I would think the same if I were a girl and that happened. I still cringe after almost two decades. Reddit user: spaceiscool_right

I Rejected My Crush

In the third grade, I had this HUGE crush on a girl. I was flat out obsessed and spent months plotting how to ask her out. You may be thinking, “Oh but it’s not love, it’s third grade.” Yeah, no. Anyway, I’m planning how to ask her out and suddenly she just walks up to me and says, “Hey, do you like me?”

Photo: creativecommons.org/Bennilover

You might think, “Oh this is the part where he says he’s been married for 16 years or something.” Nope. I panic and think “OH NO, SHE’S ONTO ME” and I just blurt out, “No no, we’re just friends.” I friendzoned my crush who had a crush on me too. And I realized my mistake just as I moved several counties away. Where I live now, I have yet to find somebody who even remotely likes me. Reddit user: -DCPT-

The Age of Embarrassment 

I still hate myself even just thinking about it. One time, our teacher was telling us about her accomplishments, from family life to education to career, and I said the worst thing possible. Without thinking, I just blurted out, “Wow, how old are you?” The entire class went dead silent and looked toward me; a couple told me how bad that was. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/Editor B

They didn’t need to though; I had realized that immediately. You see, I meant it to be a compliment, believe it or not. I was trying to say she must be so old to have achieved all of these things, even though she looked so young, but no one, not even myself afterwards, took it that way. It still haunts me to this day. Reddit user: Gamemon_RD

It’s Your Problem

A few months back, I was at work and a customer said “thank you,” so I tried to say “you’re welcome!” and “no problem!” at the same time. Guess what came out of my mouth? “Your problem!” It wasn’t in an annoyed tone, though, it was in a cheerful tone. But the customer still looked at me like I was a weirdo.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Sklathill

It felt like I was Cady Heron from Mean Girls when she says “grool” instead of cool…but not nearly as cute as she was in that movie. But it’s okay, I salvaged it for the most part. I was like, “Oh I’m sorry, I meant you’re welcome!” And the customer clearly just wanted to get out of there and said it was all good. Still embarrassing though. Reddit user: peachpitafterdark

Tear Me Apart

When I was in Kindergarten, I was being stupid, and I wrote a love letter to some girl…and then she tried to open it in front of the whole class. I decided I would stand up and start chanting “RIP IT, RIP IT, RIP IT!” Of course, nobody else was chanting, and so to make matters worse, I ripped the paper out of her hands and started tearing it apart.

Photo: creativecommons.org/critical_matt

I’m willing to bet nobody remembers it, not even the girl who got the letter, but whenever I go to sleep I think of how I was so dumb, and how everyone probably did remember it. I understand that I was just a five year old with a crush, but you never know…that could have been my future wife for all I know, and I could have ruined it. Reddit user: ToasterWaffless

Bunny Boy

I was about 7 years old at a new school. The entire school was having a singing program for all the grade levels. The teacher told us all we had to dress up. Being the adventurous and carefree child I was…I told my mom I wanted to be a bunny! She happily obliged and made me a full bunny costume.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Sheba_Also 45,000 photos

Cut to the program: the audience got a sea of 7-year-olds dressed in little suits and dresses. And one giant, white bunny. (I think my mom still has the class photo somewhere to commemorate the “event.”) I was known as “bunny boy” for the next two years until we moved away. But it was still horrifying. Reddit user: ISeeTheFuture

Dropping the Ball and Camera

I was on Mt. Huayna, which overlooks Machu Picchu in Peru. The very last 20 feet or so is a series of jagged rock faces. While I was standing on the top, a woman who looked to be traveling alone asked me to take her picture. Being the gentleman I am, I said of course…but that’s where things went wrong.

Photo: creativecommons.org/MyFavoritePetSitter

As she hands me this super nice, expensive camera, I expect to take it from her hands. The moment my fingers barely touch it, she falsely assumes I have a nice grip and lets go. The camera fell 20-30ft down the mountainside to a ledge below. She was nice enough about it, but I felt unbelievably bad for my mess up. Reddit user: DeathisTruth

Give Me Your Baby

This one happened over 10 years ago. I was riding on a streetcar. I get to my stop and am about to leave. I see this lady behind me with a stroller who looks like she’s about to get off the streetcar as well. I offer to help and grab the front of the stroller to take it down the steps. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/Sigfrid Lundberg

The only problem was that the lady did not mean to leave the streetcar, so there I am trying to pull the stroller out while the lady is pulling it back. The story ends when the driver closes the doors on my arms. I like to think there’s a family somewhere telling a story about how one time their kid almost got kidnapped. Reddit user: cerberus911

Soda Shower

A few years ago, I went on a job interview. The interview went very well, and I met the entire department. After the interview, I went to a nearby fast food restaurant to meet some friends for lunch. After receiving my order, I turned to the condiment stand to get my napkins, straw, and ketchup. I should have been more careful.

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Unfortunately, I misjudged the counter height and ended up spilling my entire tray, including a very large drink, onto the line of people waiting to order…which included the entire department of people I had just interviewed with. Apparently they went out together for lunch as a department every Friday. Believe it or not though, I still got the job. Reddit user: imjustgonnalurk

Bad First Impression

My first day of middle school, I had my grandfather drive me to the campus. He was prone to bringing me snacks and brought along a cherry Toaster Strudel and a bottle of Sunny D. My mother refused to buy me “cool” clothes for school, so on my first day, I ended up wearing a robin’s egg blue polo shirt and these stark white shorts that were WAY too short for me. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/Crown Star Images

I knew I was going to be teased, but there was nothing I could do. Anyhow…pulled up to the campus with my grandfather and, as I was getting out of the car, I spilled Sunny D ALL over my lap. In my haste to catch the bottle, I also dropped the strudel. My first day in middle school was not exactly what I had in mind.

I spent the day in what amounted to daisy duke shorts with a large yellow stain on the crotch and what appeared to be smeared frosting and blood from the cherry toaster strudel and frosting caked on the front. Reddit user: PalinFreeBorn

Hello, Stranger

I was walking out of one of those Cold Stone ice cream shops with my family one day. I walked over to the car, opened the passenger door, and sat down. I closed the door, put my seatbelt on, and was all ready to go. But my mom was just sitting there and didn’t say anything to me, so I was a little confused.

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But then I looked over to my mom. Only thing was my mom wasn’t in the car. It was a woman breastfeeding her child. A complete stranger. And I was the weirdo who had just entered her car. I looked at her, apologized profusely, took off my seatbelt, and ran back to my family’s car. They were all just laughing at me…. Reddit user: RUIN570

And the Loser Is…

One time in my school assembly, they were doing a review of the sports played over the term and the intra-school rugby competition. Not being very good at rugby myself, I was astounded to have actually scored in the competition that actually helped my team win. I wasn’t necessarily expecting anything out of it, but I was proud of myself.

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So, the teacher was reading out the report and goes on about “one special person on the team who really pulled through when times were tough.” Being an idiot, I assumed he was talking about me, and so I rose from the assembly floor slowly, arms raised, in a kind of Messiah-like pose, as a joke I suppose. I don’t really know.

Cue 400 people looking at this kid who’s just stood up with a grin on his face (which quickly disappeared), only for the guy reading the report to reveal he was talking about the captain of the team and not my lowly self. I had 400 pairs of eyes on me, and I just sat back down and endured the next 60 minutes in agony. Reddit user: [redacted]

Sticky Situation

I got a new haircut, and oh man did I think my barber did a killer job with my hair. Walking around, I swear women were checking me out much more frequently. Then I’m at an ATM and I feel someone tap me. I turn around, and it’s a very pretty lady. By this point, I’m sold on the glorious power of this haircut. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/Elvert Barnes

I pull out my earbuds and get ready to say something super smooth when she goes first: “I don’t know if anyone has told you, but you sat in some gum.” I feel around my backside and pull away this huge clump of tissue with a huge clump of gum in it, leaving a big pink/red-ish streak of gum on my butt. I shaved my head to teach that haircut a lesson. Reddit user: BodySnatcher

There Goes My Jelly Beans

I had just joined a gym and was changing in the locker room for the first time. Apparently the norm there was to walk around half-naked making small talk about picking up weights. Anyway, I had just come from the shower, took off my towel, and lifted my duffel bag. To my horror, a full, open 2-pound bag of jelly beans spilled out and skittered all over the entire locker room.

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Everybody stops what they’re doing. Absolute silence. Every muscular guy in the gym is watching closely while my naked self scurries in panic mode to collect hundreds of candies all over the floor. I tried to apologize for the disruption, but I’m pretty sure I was the talk of the locker room the next day. I didn’t go back to that gym. Reddit user: AwesomeExpress

Know Your Audience

I was at my younger brother’s talent show. He was in grade 5 and I was in high school. Right before my brother came on, there was this other kid who did this really stupid act with a guitar. Like he used it as a drum instead of a guitar. I was present for the rehearsals so I had already seen his act, but it was worse that time.

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I then told my parents, “Oh my god, watch this kid. He sucks so bad I can’t believe he made it into the talent show, how pathetic can you be?” Two people sitting right in front of me turn around and give me the evil eye. I get it’s not cool to make fun of a 10-year old, but what was this about? Turns out they were his parents. Reddit user: shoota60

Falling for You

I had just started dating this guy. We did the typical dinner and a movie date, so I dressed semi nice and had on some heels. I’m sure you can see where this is going. Everything went fine, I loved the movie, etc. We get up to leave and as I’m walking down the movie stairs, I just lose my balance and eat it. I mean, eat it bad.

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I fell down the rest of the stairs, around nine or ten, and as this is happening, for some reason I think it would be better if I took off the heels, while I’m tumbling, in hopes that I could catch my footing, I guess? Obviously, this doesn’t help, and I land at the bottom in a pile of shoes and my purse. Reddit user: sweegorg

How Far I’ll Go

I was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn’t get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling. No big deal, right? Wrong.

Photo: creativecommons.org/MattHurst

I looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was not on my girlfriend, but on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, “I just wanted to see how far you’d go.” Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. I was so embarrassed, but it’s a good story. Reddit user: nocturnalplur

I Sneezed

This was during my sophomore year in math class. I sat between two gentlemen. I was really congested that day and thus pretty tired at the same time. I was resting my head in my hand and hunched over my math book when I felt a sneeze coming. I went to lean back but apparently didn’t move quick enough when the force of this sneeze sent my face hurling into my desk. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/Pete Jelliffe

My head smacked the desk so hard that I bounced back up like a basketball. At that point, I was just dizzy and like “Uhhh….” Meanwhile, the two guys next to me just completely lose it. The one on the right is howling with laughter. The one on the left has his face in his hands and is snorting. The teacher looked at us so confused and all I could say was, “…I sneezed.” Reddit user: sleepcantcatchme

Purple Monster

I went to the mall with my mom after lounging around at the house (if I remember correctly, I wasn’t very keen). Just as I was about to get out of the car, I realized I was wearing my slippers. Not the average inconspicuous slippers; it had to be my massive purple furry weird creature slippers. You couldn’t miss these things.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Meindert Arnold Jacob

I asked to stay in the car, but I think my mom was not in the best of moods after having to deal with a difficult teenager that day and forced me to go to the mall just like that. In hindsight, I don’t know why I didn’t just go barefoot. Anyways, pretty embarrassing, as those slippers were unmissable. People probably took pictures. Reddit user: muhnkeyingaround

Creeper Alert

I needed a ride home after class one day, so I texted my friend for a ride. He replied, “Yeah, I’ll meet you at my car after class, I parked in lot E.” I find his car and wait in the parking lot for him. There are cookies in his middle compartment, so I open the door and help myself to some. At this point, he texts me that he’s on his way to the car. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/drtreypennington

So I decide to hide in the back seat to scare him. A few moments later, I hear someone opening the door. I take a peek, and it’s not my friend. Sudden realization, I’m in the wrong car. The girl has a scared and disgusted face, horrified that a full-grown man is in the fetal position in the back seat of her car. She mutters out, “What even?” as I try to escape.

I try to get out through the passenger seat, but I end up tripping over the seat and scraping my knees and hands. I would have usually just laughed this off, except I had a crush on this girl since high school and never really thought she noticed me. I still cringe every time I think about it. Reddit user: YourACoolGuy

Nightmare Fuel

I had just joined a large gym and didn’t know my way around. Combine that with being totally blind without my glasses. After my first workout, I went to the men’s locker room to take a sauna and hit the showers. I threw my shorts, shoes, shirt, and glasses in an open locker, grabbed my towel, and started searching for the sauna door. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/SportsFanaticAustralia

Finding the tell-tale wooden door that usually indicates “sauna,” I walked boldly through it, only to find myself buck-naked in the front lobby of the gym. An aerobics class had just let out, and there was a long line, I’d guess about ten people, at the drinking fountain right next to the men’s locker room door. They were all staring right at me. Unable to contain my stupidity, I calmly announced, “Well, this isn’t the sauna” and turned around and closed the door. The gales of laughter that came from the other side still haunt me to this day. Reddit user: DavConn1

Save the Ramen

Me, a freshman at college. I had just gone to the mail station and had received my first ever CARE PACKAGE! It was in a HUGE box; I couldn’t fit my arms all the way around it. So I’m cruising down the sidewalk, carrying this huge package and feeling pretty good about myself. I see a pretty gal coming towards me and, being in such a good mood, I flash her a big ol’ grin. 

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Surprisingly, she flashed me a smile right back. Just as I’m catching a glimpse of those pearly whites, a wild sidewalk crack appeared! I was going down, and hard. I had to make a split-second decision: dump the care package, risking its contents but making a somewhat graceful recovery, or protect the care package as best I could and forgo any remaining dignity.

I made the only appropriate choice. I awkwardly barrel-rolled onto the grass, landing back-first on the ground but making sure the box was protected. I rolled back onto my feet and continued walking to my dorm like a boss. What had I gone through great effort and embarrassment to save? A 12-pack of crew cut Hanes socks and a bulk package of chicken ramen. Totally. Worth. It. Reddit user: bigfuzzybearsam

You’ve Got the Wrong Man

When I was a kid, we went to breakfast every Sunday. One Sunday after breakfast, my dad, brother, and I went outside the restaurant while my mom paid the check. We went and stood off to the side of the entrance so my dad could get a newspaper. Well, my mom comes out a few minutes later looking at the receipt and not paying attention.

Photo: creativecommons.org/woodleywonderworks

She walks up to a total stanger with my dad’s build who was standing next to two kids. Using only her peripheral vision, she walked up right next to him and, as my mom was known to do, slid her hand in the man’s back pocket and started complaining about the check. At this point, we all noticed her, and rather than say anything, my dad held us back and said, “Let’s watch mom turn red.” 

The man moves away, and my mom looks up and notices it’s not my dad. She turns red and gets so embarrassed she gets teary. The worst part is that she had to walk over to her husband and kids who were laughing hysterically 5 steps away. Reddit user: Frank-Wrench

No Pizza-z

I’m a pizza delivery guy for a pretty big chain place. I get this big order for about five larges, three orders of wings, and two sodas. I struggle to carry all this, but I can still sprint to my car comfortably. In hindsight, I probably should have made two trips, but I guess I just got a little ahead of myself. That was a bad move.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Pitel

As I’m sprinting to my car, I hear someone scream out, “Hey Sonny!” It’s my friend, so I turn and start to say “heyyyyyy wha-” Bam. It happened right then. I ran into my car. I dropped all the pizzas and the soda exploded open. Everyone saw, and I had to do a walk of shame back inside to tell them to make more pizza. Reddit user: Sonny_Trinh

KFC Guy

I work during the day at a commercial brokerage. A man came in and was waiting to speak with my boss about buying a business (boss was still in a meeting at the time); I signed him up for a meeting time during which I knew my boss would be available and suggested that he arrive 15 minutes or so early. He thanked me and left.

Photo: creativecommons.org/ZiJing

About 20 minutes later, I get a call from our office in a neighboring city, asking me who’s doing what and what’s going on. I told him that my boss was in a meeting and only had a few walk-ins that day. He asked me if I knew of any meetings later on, and I told him that my boss had a meeting with a guy that looked just like Colonel Sanders from KFC.

He laughed and said okay cool. I look up and see the same man (the colonel!) standing in the doorway. He had forgotten his phone, came back in, and was staring at me with the most epic poker face I’ve ever seen. Reddit user: Tainerif

Stuck on You

One time, I was super excited about my date with a really hot girl…so I went and bought some new clothes (lame, I know). Designer jeans and a nice fitting T-shirt. During dinner, she was smiling at me (a lot), and even when I asked her what was up, she didn’t say. On the drive back to her place (I was driving), she said she liked guys who put in the extra effort for a date.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Chris Hunkeler

I thanked her but said that this was just the normal me. She giggled and said that she appreciated that I went shopping for the date. I was dumbfounded. Mid-sentence into asking her how she knew, she slowly peeled off the long size sticker off the thigh of my jeans. I was super mortified but still got a second date. Reddit user: [redacted]

There Was Wine Everywhere

I stopped at a gas station to get some soda in a rough part of the city. As I get out of the car, I notice a worker pushing a garbage can to the dumpster. “That guy must hate his job,” I thought. Inside, I needed a 2-liter diet soda from the top shelf. What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. 

Photo: creativecommons.org/torroid

I grab it, and the ones behind it slide with so much velocity that one tips from the shelf and front flips to the floor. It lands perfectly on the head, fizzes up very quickly, and explodes like a rocket RIGHT over my shoulder and goes into a wine display. It clears out an entire shelf of gas station merlot, spilling and shattering everywhere. Literally half the store had red wine all over the disgruntled worker’s freshly mopped floor. I couldn’t help but linger with everyone in the store asking what happened, but I needed that soda…. Reddit user: Chromeo86