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People Share Their Public Bathroom Horror Stories

People Share Their Public Bathroom Horror Stories

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We’ve all experienced embarrassment or disgust, at some point in life. And sometimes when that happens, the memories can be a little too hard to forget, especially when those moments were meant to be private. When there are witnesses, dealing with bathroom issues can become very awkward… very quickly. Public bathrooms are not a place anyone would want to hang out- but when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Dmitry G

Thankfully, a lot of people are taught manners at a young age regarding how to use the toilet properly. Unfortunately, in some cases, many seem to have forgotten, or foregone this training, especially when it comes to using public bathrooms. Here are stories from the poor souls who’ve had to do the dirty work of cleaning up, or the innocent passerby’s who’ve had to endure the horror of what they unintentionally got to witness…

Well, Hello There

I was in a stall minding my own business when suddenly I felt a little hand start petting my foot. I have a tattoo of a dragonfly on it, and apparently, the toddler in a stall with his mother felt the need to touch it. I heard his little voice say, “Oh, so pretty,” and the mom just started laughing.

Photo: creativecommons.org/viralbus

All of a sudden, the toddler’s face was in my stall while he was lying on the disgusting bathroom floor, and he started talking to me. I had no idea what to do. I mean, what do you do with a random kid watching you go to the bathroom? Needless to say, it was quite awkward, and funny all at the same time. Reddit User: Cassandra Reuscher

Wipe My Butt Please

We were out to eat when my little sister had to use the restroom. My parents asked me, a 10-year-old, to take her to the restroom. I went with her and waited outside the stall while she did her business. She started pooping really loudly, and I was terribly embarrassed because women were coming in and out of the restroom.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Elya

After my sister was done, she started yelling, “Wipe my butt!” At ten years old, I was not about to start wiping butts, so I said she had to wait until my mom came in to check on us. We waited for what seemed like an hour while my sister continued to yell, “Wipe my butt!”’ It was a genuinely scarring experience. Reddit User: Lucy Gaudiano

Overflow

One time in high school, I ate something that upset my stomach a lot, and I could feel the runs coming on. I was just about to do my business in the girls’ bathroom, when another girl walked in and started changing clothes in the stall next to me. I decided that I couldn’t hold it anymore, and finally unleashed my liquid doo, and it was embarrassingly noisy.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Dunedin City Council Archives

If that wasn’t bad enough, the toilet clogged and overflowed, going from my own stall to the floor of the stall next to me. The girl screamed, picked up her clothes, and ran. I was frozen in the stall for a good 30 minutes, too embarrassed to move. Luckily, she never saw my face, so she doesn’t know who was in the stall next to her. Reddit User: Katiel4d499761a

Mind Your Own Business

I went into a bathroom and was squatting to do my business, when I heard a woman in front of my stall door scream, “Why don’t you sit?!” I looked up, and there was a girl staring at me through the crack in the door. By the time I was finally done and getting ready to wipe myself, I was losing my temper.

Photo: Flickr/Derek Wolfgram

I felt embarrassed because I needed to wipe, but I didn’t want to do it with her watching. Suddenly, she started trying to open the door, saying, “Let me in! You need to sit!” Finally, I had had enough, and I yell back, “It is not your business! Go away!” The girl’s mother got mad about me yelling at her daughter, and pulled the girl away. I finally finished up, and washed my hands as the mother glared, and the daughter mumbled, “She doesn’t sit!” Reddit User: Claudia Hawkins

Double Check The Lock

When I was 12 years old, my peers and I went on a school trip. Our bus had a tiny toilet, and I had to use it. I thought I locked the door, but as I was doing my business, the bus hit a bump and the door flew open, and, of course, sitting in the back near the bathroom were the cool boys of the year.

Photo: creativecommons.org/fabbio

I slammed the door shut and did not let go even as I was washing my hands one at a time, and it took me a good 10 minutes of talking myself up to exit and go back to my seat. Of course, those cool 12-year-old boys didn’t keep their mouths shut about it. I heard about it for a while after that. Reddit User: Mandy C

Too Afraid To Ask

I was in kindergarten when this happened. My teacher was very strict and scary, and I remembered none of us ever had the courage to ask her if we could go to the toilet. But that day, I was having this really bad stomach ache, and I was still too afraid to ask. So five year old me at that time thought it would be no big deal to just…go.

Photo: creativecommons.org/critical_matt

I thought nobody would smell it, so I pooped in my pants. Needless to say, my mum had to pick me up in class five minutes later, and they had to move class because the cleaners were cleaning up my mess. It was embarrassing, and now I can somewhat laugh about it. I do hope, though, that no one else remembers it. Reddit User: Diyanahj

Can’t Always Trust A Fart

I was Black Friday shopping with my mom in a mall, running on a two-hour nap and a cup of coffee. We’re walking through the mall when I suddenly realized that severe sleep deprivation and coffee don’t mix well when I haven’t eaten anything. I felt an awful pain in my intestines and tried to hold in a fart.

Photo: Flickr/Christine und Hagen Graf

I stopped in the middle of the hall and felt the horror start to seep out, literally. I turned completely white to the point where my mom got worried, and all I could say was that I needed a bathroom now. The closest store was Best Buy, so I had to finish my business and clean myself up while my mom went and bought a new pair of underwear for me somewhere else. Reddit User: E49956a651

In Need Of A Plunger

I was at school one day and was in between classes. There was a nice bathroom in one of the buildings that I liked to use. I went in thinking it was going to be a normal poop, but ended up having a really long, disgusting one. I didn’t want anyone hearing, so I would do this “trick” where if it felt like it was going to be loud, I would pull on the loud toilet paper dispenser.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/玄史生

After doing that for a couple of times, I was finished. I wiped and went to flush the toilet, but I had clogged it. I kept flushing a bunch of times. It was one of the nicer bathrooms, and I could hear people waiting in line for a stall. There were only three stalls. I kept flushing, and it finally unclogged, but it started to overflow. I ended up just running out of the bathroom without washing my hands. Reddit User: Boobummer

Cup To The Rescue

My friend and I were taking a stroll around town, and had stopped at Burger King for frozen Cokes. After that, we went to the park, and I still had my cup from said frozen Coke. Now, dairy screws me up, and earlier, we had ice cream before walking in the heat. Thankfully, the park had a port-a-potty, and I went in and was unable to hold anything back.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Eric Fischer

Then, I realized there was no toilet paper. Absolutely none. So I sat in the port-a-potty thinking, what the heck can I do? Then I looked to my left and saw my empty Burger King cup. Long story short, I ripped it up and used it as toilet paper, then pumped my hands full of sanitizer. I got lucky with the cup. Reddit User: SureYesOk

Egyptian Monument

On a family vacation to Egypt, we visited the Valley of the Kings to see the tombs. It should’ve been amazing, but I hadn’t felt good all day. Nevertheless, I was not going to miss all the fun. As soon as we got there, little 16-year-old me ran to the bathroom, bypassing the lady giving out toilet paper, rushed into a stall, and exploded.

Photo: creativecommons.org/ephysimon

My sister ended up having to spend like four dollars on toilet paper. I guess you have to pay per square in public restrooms there. Flash forward two hours, we’d finished our tour and were leaving through the lobby, and the toilets had been “closed for maintenance.” I literally broke an Egyptian national monument. No one else knew it was me. Reddit User: Amelia Millward

Still Got To Teach

I am a middle school teacher who has IBS. I know, it’s a wonderful combo. Anyway, one morning I had some coffee, and as I started to feel the need to go, some of my students walked in with some drama. As they were telling me what happened, I felt the cramping start, and wasn’t sure if it would come on or not.

Photo: creativecommons.org/therogerbacon

Anyway, I finally excused myself, and as I walked to the bathroom, it started coming out like lava. Oh, and I was wearing a maxi, so there was no chance of stuff being caught and contained. Long story short, I had to use water and Lysol disinfectant to clean myself up because, you know, a teacher’s got to teach. Reddit User: Sarap24

Defeated

I had been out with my new boyfriend and dropped him off at his apartment. I asked if I could use the bathroom as I was feeling bad. He refused because his roommate was home. He then explained his roommate was his pregnant ex-girlfriend. So on top of the impending poop doom, I get that little piece of info. I left so fast.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Tdorante10

Because I was crying and was going to poop my pants, I ended up having the worst bowel movement in a CVS parking lot a block away from this guy’s place, in a snow storm. Poo was everywhere, so I stripped naked, wrapped myself in a blanket I had in the car, left my clothes at the scene, and drove home, windows down, naked, and smelling like defeat, among other things. Reddit User: Megankieliszekm

What A Mess

I was in the middle of an exam at school, when my stomach howled, and cramps seized my lower abdomen. Bolting for the bathroom, I made it to the toilet just in time to let the majority flow out, except for this one hard bit at the end. No matter how hard I pushed, this little poop nugget just wouldn’t come out.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Sustainable sanitation

I wiped anyway, and accidentally smeared poop everywhere–all over my hand, the waistband of my pants, and the hem of my shirt. It took half a roll of toilet paper to clean it off my butt and clothes the best I could, and then I had to wash my hands. Having come to check on me because I’d been gone for so long, the teacher walked in to see me hunched over the sink, trying to scrape poop out from under my nails with a pencil. Reddit User: Pks0

Not An Easy Thing To Do

It was years ago, and I was living and interning in India for a Summer, and would usually take train trips to different cities over the weekends. One weekend, I was on an overnight train and was stricken with a terrible case of food poisoning halfway to my destination. I made my way to the bathroom, a squat toilet, on a moving train.

Photo: Creative Commons/7-how-7

There, I proceeded to have explosive diarrhea while simultaneously vomiting all over the place. Craping and barfing while hovering over a squat toilet on a moving train with many hours to your destination really makes you take inventory of your situation. I have never experienced that level of bathroom-related drama in my entire life. It was the perfect storm. Reddit User: [Redacted]

Didn’t Realize I Wasn’t Alone

I got some heavy diarrhea from some food I ate once. I was in the city with my boyfriend, so I ran to the closest place with a toilet. It was McDonald’s. I got my trousers down, and sat on the toilet right at the last second. I took out my smartphone and texted with my boyfriend while the water spewed out of my butt.

Photo: Creative Commons/Sean MacEntee

Suddenly I heard a woman’s voice say, “Hey! Hello? Is there someone in here?” Me: “Um, yes.” Her: “Can you help me? I can’t unlock the stall from inside.” Me: “Urgh, wait a minute. I tried to clean myself up as fast as possible. Then I got out and helped her to open her door again. My face was white but also kind of red from the embarrassment. I hate it when others can hear me poop. Reddit User: Lillix3

You Shouldn’t Have Done That

I went to the toilet at a bar while on holiday. When I entered, there were a few drunk girls at the mirror saying, “Oh, I need to fix my make up,” and so on. I went to go pee, and a moment later, a girl stuck her head under my door to say hello to me, and out of true fear and surprise, I kicked her in the face.

Photo: PickPix

She was ready to kill me for that, so I had to stay locked in my stall until she somehow got bored and left, which eventually, she did. Her friends had to drag her out though, and when I got out my stall, one of her friends apologized to me. I mean, it was a total accident. Not my fault. Reddit User:  iiS4R4HxXx

Sometimes You Just Need A Helping Hand

I was in a public bathroom at a petrol station just after coming back from an expedition. So I’m in there doing my business, when suddenly I hear a very loud and almost cartoonish old man in the stall next to me say, “Oh, no,” and then proceeds to repeat that over and over again. This happens for a few seconds.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Peter Greenberg

Soon, I hear another comical voice from outside the stall, younger but still old, and very nasally. Anyway, he says, “Clarence, are you okay?” The man in the stall replies, “It’s happening again.” The guy outside replies, “Oh god, open up. I’m coming in,” to which I just continue to hear the two of them saying “Oh god” as an awful smell starts to spread across the bathroom. I then got out as fast as I could. Reddit User: Nerdawon

Ladies’ Room

I was on my way back from a big party in another state with a friend. Stopped at a gas station with a Subway attached, and ate. Immediately, my guts went south. The men’s room was taken, but the ladies’ room was empty. Nobody else was in the place, so I decide to drop dark science in the ladies’ room no problem. I took one of the worst dumps of my life.

Photo: Public Domain Pictures

It’s no exaggeration; I destroyed that room. Then, I spent a while in there just getting myself back into shape. When I opened the door, there were six women waiting to use it. In a panic, my teenage brain doffed an imaginary hat, and said “Ladies,” and then hightailed it back to my table while whispering, “We have to go.” We jumped in the car and sped away. I feel bad for all those women who had to endure my shame. Reddit User: ProfSkullington

Some People Are Animals

I worked as a park ranger for some time, not too long ago. I worked in maintenance, so our crew had to do everything from landscaping, to janitorial work, and everything in between. Our park was also along a river, and it wasn’t the cleanest river. People would fish, cookout, picnic, go swimming, drink a lot, and leave their trash.

Photo: creativecommons.org/WorldSkills UK

They would even leave some of the most nightmarish scenes in a bathroom than I never wanted to imagine there being–poop on the floor, the partitions, outside of the stall, as if they just flung it everywhere. These people were ruthless savages, to say the least. I have no fear when it comes to cleaning bathrooms anymore. It’s still gross though. Reddit User: hanafrufru

Should’ve Gone Earlier

I was on a plane. As we were boarding, I realized I needed the toilet, but felt I could hold it until we’d taken off because the aisles were busy, and I didn’t want to have to get in people’s way to go to the toilet. Anyway, takeoff took longer than expected, and by that time, I was really clenching.

Photo: Creative Commons/kthypryn

 

And then we took off, and it turned out, it’s really hard to hold in a poop while taking off in a plane, and I crapped myself. I made it to the toilet as quickly as I could, and–God help me–it ended up everywhere. I spent ages cleaning up and then had to dispose of my underwear and spend the rest of the flight going commando. Reddit User: lofty888

Watch Your Step

So we were traveling in Vietnam and decided to visit what we thought was a well-known tourist attraction. It turned out to be a very small town that Westerners rarely visited. I needed to use the train station toilet. It was basically a concrete bunker with no lighting. It was also a squat toilet, which is basically a hole in the ground, and was pretty much hidden in the darkness.

Photo: creativecommons.org/runran

I had a splitting headache due to medication. I accidentally walked headfirst into a concrete bulkhead, which was too high to bother locals but perfectly placed for six-foot Westerners. I ended up trotting through human feces and urine into what I believe was the designated hole in the ground. Talk about one of the most disgusting things ever. Reddit User: Bridgeseptember

Whoops

Once, I went number two, and right after wiping, I looked at the toilet paper because I always look and continue to wipe until the paper is clean. Well, this time, there was a little ball of poop stuck on it, and it fell off the paper onto the floor. There was a person in the stall next to me.

Photo: Public Domain Pictures

 

So, I’m sure they could see the poo land on the floor. Immediately I reached down and wiped it off the floor with the paper and prayed to God they didn’t see it. I should’ve stayed in there to hide until they were gone, but I got out to wash my hands, and they did too. They looked at my face, and it was apparent that they, in fact, saw me drop my poo on the floor. Reddit User: JacKeTandJaCkeT

Secure Your Phone First

I was in college. This was in India, where we have squat toilets, prevalent in other Asian countries as well. The bathroom is cruddy, and not well lit, and the toilets themselves look like they are hardly ever cleaned. My phone drops in. My parents are in an entirely different country, so I can’t just buy a new phone whenever I please.

Photo: Flickr/jiahung li

So I picked it up from the hole–it was a deep hole, mind you. The state of this bathroom was so bad that whilst recounting this story to my friends, they always somehow expect me to not put my hand in. Kids, you should always make sure your phones are in a secure place before you use the toilet. Reddit User: Freesiacal

Not Going There

I was about to climb a section of the Great Wall of China, and was desperate to take a crap because the bus ride took about 90 minutes. I’d already been in China for a few weeks, and at this point, already knew that you needed your own toilet paper 90% of the time, and that there are squat toilets in most of the bathrooms.

Photo: Creative Commons/MDelli

I was absolutely not at all prepared for what I saw, smelled, and even tasted. There was a literal mound of poop that smelled like the guy who used it before me had bowel cancer or ate something that was decomposing. The smell and shear sight of the crap mound was enough to scare my poop right back into my intestines. Reddit User: FirstNameLastName69

Do What You Gotta Do

I was in China, and I finally had my first bowel movement in four days at a gas station, and forgot that Chinese bathrooms typically don’t stock toilet paper to wipe yourself. I was wearing a miniskirt that day with a thin thong, so I couldn’t just use my underwear to wipe, and I couldn’t bear to use my hands.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Otebig at English Wikipedia

So I decided to use the sticky side of a sanitary pad in the small disposal bin to wipe myself with. I was so disgusted by what I had done for the entire day, and even used hand sanitizer to wipe myself down when I got back to the car. I never felt so filthy. Reddit User: Existentialepicure

Eat ‘Til You Puke

I worked part-time at a Golden Corral for a little bit while I was going to school. One of my jobs was to keep the bathrooms clean and stocked throughout the day. One day, I was told that someone had thrown up in the bathroom, and that I needed to clean it. I went into the bathroom, and the stench of bile hit me like a truck….

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Michael Rivera

This person had thrown up before making it, so there was vomit all over the floor and seat of the toilet. Yes, I cleaned it. It was freaking awful, and I almost threw up a couple of times. If you go to a buffet, don’t eat to the point of vomiting, please. Some poor soul will have to clean that stuff up. Reddit User: [Redacted]

Not The Cleanest Place

I decided to take my three-year-old son to Monster Jam at Ford Field in Detroit. I made sure to address a bathroom visit before heading down there. But it didn’t matter, and the kid still needed to drop one mid-event. I took him to the restroom, and the best option was the handicapped stall.

Photo: Wikipedia/Arenacale

 

It reminded me of a scene from Saw. The toilet condition was sketchy at best. I “cleaned” as best I could, using copious amounts of toilet paper as he was telling me he couldn’t hold it much longer. I tried to cover every inch of that toilet with layers upon layers of paper. I tried to keep him from actually touching anything. Reddit User: Sellursoul

Going To Be Working Late

I was working a part-time job as a cleaner in the mall, and to my surprise, they really needed help with restroom sanitation. I was about half-done, and only needed to clean the seats in the men’s room. I was told that, when cleaning seats, you need to use a lot of soap and let it sit to take effect on the residue for a minute or two.

Photo: Flickr/Rusty Clark ~ 100K Photos

I was about done with the last stall, which was close to the door and had soaped it. I then was going over to my cleaning trolley, when all of a sudden, a man came running into the room and apparently really needed to go. The guy took the first stall closest to the door, which was still soaking. I saw the guy slam the stall door, take off his pants, and just when he had sat down, he slipped off the seat, hit the floor, and pooped on the floor, all while yelling and cursing. Needless to say, I had to stay a little longer on the job that day. Reddit User: MCcloud88

A Fair Warning

I was using the facilities in a TJ Maxx on a fine Saturday morning, and someone came in shortly after me and went into the next stall. As I was finishing up, I heard the woman next to me say, “Hey, I’m so sorry, but I have diarrhea, and I have to let it go!” I didn’t quite know how to respond, so I tried to contain my laughter and calmly said, “Go for it.”

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/FASTILY

I flushed the toilet and began to exit the stall, as I heard the most violent diarrhea come out of this poor woman. I hurried and started washing my hands to give her some alone time, but it didn’t stop. At this point, she was basically crying and exclaiming “Oh, Jesus Christ” after each forcible crap stream.

I got out of there as fast as I could. I felt so sorry for her, and she knew that it was going to be traumatic for both of us, so she apologized before it even happened. Reddit User: FaFarr

Gotta Be Smarter Than That

I was state park camping in Northern Michigan. Old bathrooms, heavy demand, unreliable plumbing fixtures. I had to take a dump, so I headed for stall number three. It was full to the brim with poop, pee, and toilet paper. Stall number one was taken, so I headed into number two, dropped my trousers, and started doing my thing. I saw a pair of feet heading for number three.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Sustainable sanitation

 

Now, any sane person would see the same mess I did, and back away slowly. Not this idiot. He flushed again. I was shocked at first, but then overcome with fear when I heard the water hitting the floor. Sure enough, as he ran back in the other direction, urine, turds, and toilet paper started flowing into my stall. I hollered, “What the heck,” but it was no use. I had to finish pooping in the unorthodox elevated feet position. I spent the rest of the week looking for that man’s shoes, but never found them. Reddit User: esp735

Scary Stall Mate

I was in a stall next to someone, and they were sniffing loudly, and ripping the toilet paper into little quarter-sized pieces, and dropping them on the floor in an erratic way. I think it was someone messed up on some crazy drugs. I was scared, but really had to pee. As soon as I was peeing, the person in the stall stopped moving completely.

Photo: Flickr/anyjazz65

They were basically listening to me pee. I ran out without washing my hands, thinking that they were going to burst out of the stall at any second. It was just bizarre, and I never got an explanation. This was at a crowded, regular-seeming sports bar in Albany, New York. I still think about it to this day. Reddit User: Blueta

That’s Not How It Works

I walked into a bathroom at a McDonalds in Downtown Seattle in 1992. This was at the height of the HIV hysteria, and a lot of people weren’t 100% sure how contagious it was or how it spread–especially me, since I was six years old. Well, I walked into the bathroom, and there was a homeless guy in there taking a dump, and he smelled horrible.

Photo: Flickr/Random Retail

I started gagging and dry heaving. I was sure I just caught HIV, because of how fast I was getting sick, and all I knew about HIV at that time was that it made you very sick. That was an awkward conversation with my mom and dad, trying to explain to them that their six-year-old boy just got HIV in the bathroom. It turns out the guy just stunk really bad, and I was an idiot. Reddit User: [Redacted]

Not Sure How To Feel

I’m from the Seattle region, but like most people around here, I don’t frequent Seattle often. I was with my girlfriend, and I had to poop, so we found the nearest bathroom, which was a ways away. I got into the bathroom, and the stalls had huge cut out squares, so if someone was to the right or left of you, they could give you a kiss if they wanted to.

Photo: Flickr/Loozrboy

I sat down, and no one was in there at the time. Then comes this Jamaican guy in a super colorful dress who sits in the stall to my left, and we make eye contact as I’m pushing one out. All the while, my girlfriend is outside, and I hear two homeless people screaming on the verge of fighting. So many mixed emotions. Reddit User: Petey33x

Scarred For Life

On a road trip when I was young, maybe seven or eight years old, I really had to go. So I went into the gas station restroom we stopped at. The toilet had obviously not been flushed in quite some time, but that hadn’t stopped many people from putting down their deposits. Anyway, as I said, I really had to go, so I decided I’d flush it.

Photo: Flickr/Aranami

But I couldn’t wait, so I just sat down right after I flushed it. The toilet bowl full of deposits was too much for the toilet hole, and it started to overflow all over me. Honestly, I don’t remember if I finished or not, but I do remember having to change my clothes right after. I still stunk, and remember my siblings complaining because of how much I stank. And that’s the story of how I became scarred for life by public bathrooms. Reddit User: OSPFvsEIGRP

Totally Unexpected

In my high school, we had an underground level. The bathroom down there was horrendous. I remember in my senior year, I was down there, and while I was washing my hands, I heard this gurgling noise, like a toilet trying to flush without any water. A few seconds later, I heard this loud burst of air and then a huge splatter.

Photo: Flickr/Wonderlane

I turned around, and the drain on the floor had backed up, then exploded all the possible sewage and fecal matter it could into this one stall. Crap was everywhere, and I mean everywhere. It was on the wall, the toilet in the stall, the ceiling, and all over the floor. I like to call this incident the “Crapsplosion.” What a mess. Reddit User: Lolasauraus

Sleeping On The Job

I took a work break and went to the toilet. I sat down and fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of someone else coming into the stall next to mine. I panicked, no idea how long I’d been there. I wiped, stood up, and immediately crashed headfirst into the stall door because my legs weren’t ready to move. The latch broke, and I slammed into the cinder block wall on the other side.

Photo: Flickr/Jason Eppink

I bloodied my nose somewhere between the two. I managed to get my hands on my pants somehow and wrench them up to half-walk, half-fall out the door into the shop before the other guy could get out to see what the heck was going on. I was probably in there for 45 minutes, and it took at least 10 minutes before I could feel my legs again. Reddit User: makenzie71

Don’t Chance It

I was working city park maintenance at the time. I walked into the bathroom to find it covered in blood. I didn’t so much think someone had died, but they just managed to smear it on three of the four walls, the counter, the sink, and even the towel dispensers. As best we could tell, someone got clocked in the face.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Dunedin City Council Archives

 

That was where they cleaned themselves up at. What really made it gross, though, was that I had to argue with my boss to get myself a face mask before cleaning it up. They figured I’d be fine as long as I wore gloves–what a bunch of idiots. I wasn’t going to be taking any chances. Reddit User: Hunterofshadows

Two For The Price Of One

I have two stories from two different places in the same town I worked in. Job number one was a Dollar Generic, and someone legit pulled the trashcan up to the toilet and just took a giant dump in the trash can for no reason. And my coworkers even let that crap ferment until I changed out the bags.

Photo: Flickr/Random Retail

Job number two was a drive-in fast food place. I walked into the bathroom, and there was just crap all over the bathroom. Crap was on the toilet seat, on the side of the toilet, and even on the floor. I just didn’t understand. I walked out and pretended I didn’t see it. Screw all that mess. Reddit User: RobotDeathQueen

What A Ride

One of my exes knew a guy who was on a long bus ride in India. They had pulled over for a bathroom break in some middle-of-nowhere place with a few rickety shack-looking squat toilets. The dude jumps in for a number two. As he’s sitting there, squatting over the hole, there’s a loud cracking sound, and then the floor suddenly collapses.

Photo: creativecommons.org/Mike Miley

He falls into a vat of human excrement. He gets out, covered in poo, and everyone runs over to help. But here’s the thing, there’s no running water anywhere, so he can’t really wash himself. He then spent the rest of the bus journey, however many hours it was, riding on the roof of the bus covered in poo. Reddit User: dentbox

Thank You Kind Stranger

I was backpacking through China and stopped at a public restroom in what appeared to be a suburban area of Beijing. I was used to squatting when going, but I was not used to not having stalls or partitions between the squatting holes. I thought, “When in Rome.” So I squatted, and did my business with no privacy.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Leshuimat

However, I was not prepared for the lack of toilet paper, and you have to remember to bring your own. Luckily, someone squatted next to me. I asked him for some toilet paper using hand signals to convey myself. He was a generous man, and kindly offered as much as I needed. I wiped and thanked him. Reddit User: ZenRit

 

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