Red Flags In Women That Men Should Watch Out For
Before people get into a relationship, they typically want to get to know someone first. For men, this intro period is a really important time, because they get to see how much they have in common with a woman. It also means they get to sniff out any red flags they may need to know about.
But sometimes it can be difficult to do that, and some men have no idea what to look out for in general. The good news is that we can help. We’ve researched the top red flags that a man should look out for in a woman: issues that can make or break a relationship.
Some of them can be quite hard to spot, so if you’d like to find out what they are and become a bit more enlightened, keep reading.
She calls herself a drama queen
It’s one thing to be known as a drama queen and another to call oneself a drama queen. It means she knows she likes to stir things up and is probably proud of it too. Unless you also thrive on negativity, you’ll need to stay away from this kind of woman.
You don’t want to be dealing with constant emotional turmoil as she “messes with things” just to see if she can bother you.
You despise all her friends
Yes, all of them! You don’t need to like someone’s friends to be involved with them, but it can make things much easier. If it’s awkward every time you all hang out or if they cause arguments between you and your lady, then it will make your relationship that much harder.
It is better to get along, but it is not essential. At the same time, you can sort of know a person by their friends, so not liking any of them may say something.
She flakes on you pretty often
Things come up; it’s a part of life. But if she has to cancel on you for most of your plans, then it may not be worth it. You’ll be constantly let down, and even after you get used to it, you’ll resent her. It may be best to put a stop to the relationship before it really gets off the ground.
If things come up more often than not, maybe it is time to move on with the relationship and find someone more reliable.
She hates ALL her exes
This may seem odd to you, but if your girl hates all her exes and feels the need to tell you about each and every one of them constantly, then she may have a bit more to do with why the relationship ended than she’s letting on. It also means that she may not be over them yet, or at the very least, she does not have closure.
Mature and emotionally developed people will be able to look at their ex as a person, not just an ex. They will also be able to leave their ex in the past.
She gets angry quickly
A bad temper is one of the biggest red flags you can come across. It means that the woman you’re dating probably isn’t capable of handling disagreements maturely. You’ll find yourself constantly trying to calm her down and make her happy, and it will get really exhausting to have to do it all the time.
Mind your temper or your lover will leave. And understand the difference between frustration and unreasonable anger.
She treats people poorly
How someone treats other people can say a lot about their character. And we know you wouldn’t want to be with someone who is rude to others for absolutely no reason. A good test is to take her out to a restaurant or hotel and see how she talks to the staff.
Pay attention to manners like politeness and smiling. Also, note the tip! Upstanding people will not expect to be pampered by staff and will compensate fairly.
She expects to be treated like royalty all the time
Here is another red flag. This kind of behavior can be annoying even to the men who have the money and means to treat a woman like royalty. This sense of entitlement will get old really quickly, so it’s important to note the early signs, before you invest too much time (and money).
Everyone should be treated kindly, but no one inherently “deserves” royal treatment, and demanding it is a sign of selfishness and pride.
You argue all the time
Whether you’re an adult or a teenager, you know that a relationship isn’t healthy if there are arguments every other day. So if you’re seeing that behavior early on, making yourself a couple won’t change anything. In fact, it’ll probably get worse once you say that you’re committed to each other.
Once you have no out because you’ve committed to a relationship, there is no reason for this kind of woman to keep up pretenses and will likely argue every chance she gets.
She hates it when you spend time with your friends
This kind of thing tends to start out slow, and it’ll seem cute at first when she asks you to stay in instead of going out with your friends, but as time passes, her demands will only get more outrageous. You’ll either lose your friends and your sense of freedom or you’ll be fighting to keep it every other weekend or so.
A well-balanced partner will love seeing you nurture your friendships and will encourage you to spend time with your friends, not the other way around.
She keeps you from your family
It’s one thing to want to keep you from your friends, but it’s something else entirely if she wants to create a wedge between you and the people who raised you. Family is one of the most important things in the world, and if you get a sense that your girlfriend is trying to do this, it is a gigantic red flag.
This flag is big enough for you to leave, in fact. At the same time, be conscious of whether your family is toxic and she is just trying to help you.
She never says sorry or hates to apologize
Someone who doesn’t apologize is dangerous, no matter how you slice it. It either means that they think they’re never wrong, which is a whole other ball game, or they just don’t like or want to apologize. Being able to say sorry means that a person has the ability to be humble, even if it’s just for two seconds.
If a person can’t do that, then it’ll cause problems in the future. Humility and self-awareness are huge factors in a relationship that works.
She doesn’t say thank you
Saying “thank you” means that a person is able to show gratitude. It’s actually one of the fundamentals we’re taught as children. If you’re with a girl who doesn’t say it, no matter how big or small the gesture, something is most definitely wrong. Don’t forget to include ‘please’ initially, too.
She should say it not only to you, but to others around her who help as well. There is never shame in showing gratitude.
She thinks you’re a couple after one date
Guys, you should always be wary of girls who like moving extremely fast, especially when it comes to putting a title on things. Who needs a label on a good thing? There shouldn’t be a rush to label anything. If she is doing this, it could mean that she’s trying to prove something, either to herself or others.
This one is definitely not cool, so pay attention. If you’re a good match, there’s no reason to rush into which “category” you think you fit in.
She’s in a hurry to meet your parents
There really shouldn’t be a rush to meet your parents. No matter how down to earth your folks are, it’s not cool to introduce them to girls you’re not quite sure about. It’s a big step and one you should think long and hard about. If she’s pressuring you to move it along, it’s a red flag.
Her parents might be just as eager as her, so be careful. She may be trying to lock you into feeling like you can’t dump her because “she’s already met the family.”
She’s obsessed with social media
In this day and age, almost everyone is on social media, from kids to grandmas and everyone in between. You can keep up with friends, find out what’s on the news, and entertain yourself to no end looking through people’s posts. But social media has also been known to cause damage to people’s relationships.
Anything that appears to be an obsession should be approached with a healthy amount of caution, social media and phone usage included.
She’s a different person on social media
Being deceived is not fun. A new age term might be “catfished.” If the girl you’re interested in portrays herself to be one way online but is completely different in person, it could be a sign that she’s good at being dishonest. And you don’t need us to tell you how horrible that can be.
Don’t be fake or catfish people. There’s no sense in sticking with someone who can’t be honest about basic things, like themselves.
She gets jealous really easily
There’s being territorial and there’s being jealous. While the former can seem cute to some men, the latter is a definite turn-off in a healthy relationship. If she gets mad when you talk to your female friends or does things to try to get you jealous, then it’s not worth it.
Pay attention to the fine line of jealousy; it can be ugly! Playing games like wanting you to defend her from a situation she created is childish.
She’s very clingy
Some men are fans of clingers, but most aren’t. Clingy women tend to get jealous easily, are very needy, and will not give you a break! If she wants to go everywhere with you, calls you every five seconds, and can’t do anything on her own, you may want to reconsider starting a relationship with her.
Unless you can handle it, that is. Just understand that you’ll likely never have another moment to yourself as long as you’re with her.
She keeps tabs on you
Remember how annoying it was when your parents or older siblings would chaperone you? How would you feel having a woman constantly check to see where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, and what time you’ll be back? Annoyed, right? Stay away as soon as you see the signs.
Don’t date a mom; date a girlfriend. Checking in to make sure you’re okay is fine, but she doesn’t need an itinerary every time you go to the store.
She never disagrees with you
It’s great to have things in common, but no one is 100% compatible, not even identical twins. If she never disagrees with you, chances are she’s not being herself and is trying very hard to impress you. A woman should be comfortable with who she is, not suppress her thoughts and feelings to make herself more attractive in your eyes.
Nobody likes a ‘yes’ man (or woman, in this case). The differences between you are what is going to keep the relationship fresh and alive.
She keeps you at arm’s length
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while and there’s been no progress at all in breaking down some barriers, then chances are that she’s been through something very traumatizing. Now this is a red flag because it’s something that needs to be addressed (through conversation, therapy, etc.), but it shouldn’t be a deal-breaker.
Is it because she cares or because she is crazy? It’s hard to tell. This is why communication is such a critical factor in a relationship.
She isn’t supportive
Here is another huge red flag for anybody in your life. There’s probably nothing worse than being with someone who does not support you. It doesn’t have to be financially, but it definitely has to be emotionally. It’s also important to have someone who will back up your dreams and ideas, even when you don’t.
If you don’t get that feeling pretty early on, try to see if it’s there. If it’s not, know that you’re going to be doing a lot of things alone.
She talks down to you
Verbal abuse is definitely way up there on the red flag list. If she raises her voice at you, calls you names, and crushes your hopes and dreams, it is not worth it, no matter how rich, beautiful, or intelligent she is. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse and can leave scars.
Nobody should talk to you disrespectfully! And over time, you will begin to develop unhealthy behavioral patterns in response to this treatment that can take a lot of hard work to undo.
She complains about everything
Nobody loves a negative Nancy or someone who has something bad to say about, well, everything. Chances are, if she complains a lot early on in your relationship, you’ll never be able to please her, or at least not for very long. And who would want to subject themselves to this for years on end?
Venting once in a while is one thing, but is your partner always unhappy and complaining? That’s not good, and it’ll drag you down too.
She has violent tendencies
Do we even have to explain why this is a red flag? It doesn’t matter if she uses her hands to get physical or throws objects at you. You can get hurt, law enforcement could get involved, and it’s just unhealthy for everyone involved. You should definitely stay away from this one!
No one who cares about you would ever want to hurt you or be physically violent. Violence is never the answer. What was the question?
She is super flirty…with everyone
Having a girl who’s flirty can be pretty fun because it means she’ll probably keep you on your toes. But it’s not okay for her to be flirting with your friend or even random guys (or girls) if you guys are in a relationship. No matter how secure you are, it will start to affect you sooner or later.
No matter how long you are dating, flirt with your significant other and not everyone else! With relationships come commitment.
She has a wandering eye
Being flirty and having a wandering eye are two totally different things. Flirting can be annoying, but for the most part, it’s harmless. Having a wandering eye means it’s more likely that the girl you’re seeing will act on her attraction to someone else. Both are bad, but there are levels to each.
Pay attention if your partner is always checking out other people. You deserve someone who is most interested in you, not whatever the hottest option is at any given point.
She has cheated on all or most of her exes
It is completely fair to say that you shouldn’t judge someone based on their past actions, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be naïve when walking into a situation with someone who is a known cheater. If her track record isn’t too great when it comes to being faithful, it’s a red flag.
Maybe you are different; the one! Odds are, that’s not the case. Habits are very hard to break, and track records rarely lie.
She’s always the victim
If there are constantly situations where you aren’t wrong but end up taking the blame by the time the fight is over, then warning sirens should go off in your head. If she can’t admit when she’s wrong, blames you instead, and then makes it seem like you set out to hurt her, it’s a problem.
This is a form of manipulation or gaslighting, and it can have serious long-term consequences on both the relationship and your mental health.
She’s not over her ex
There’s no feeling like being someone’s rebound. And you shouldn’t start something with anyone whose feelings are in turmoil about who they used to be with. You could end up getting hurt if she decides to go back to her previous relationship, and if she stays, you may always wonder if she was just settling.
Our advice is to give her some time to figure it out. Once she’s got her head on straight, check in again and see how things are going.
She’s never had female friends
This one is okay, right? Now, this isn’t a very big red flag or a complete deal-breaker at all, but it is something you should take note of. It could mean that she can’t get along with females, which could be trouble if you ever introduce her to your friends and family.
Maybe just ask her about it to see the reason behind it. Perhaps she just doesn’t share a lot of the same interests as other women.
Fake? Fake like how? What does that even mean? We’re not talking about whether your girl has had any cosmetic work done. We’re referring to whether she’s nice to people when it’s to their face but very mean-spirited when they turn their backs. Maybe even her voice changes around certain people.
She could be doing it to you, your friends, and your family too, and you should really stay away from that kind of negativity from the get-go.
She has no ambition/goals
It’s very hard being with someone who doesn’t want better for themselves. If they have no drive and can’t push themselves, how are they supposed to support you and yours? Ask your partner about goals, both short- and long-term ones. They should have some things they are passionate about in life.
Lacking ambition might just be a deal-breaker. It can be tiring having to have the ambition or aspiration for both people by yourself.
She has bad hygiene
This is the one thing on the list that doesn’t need an explanation. Bad hygiene isn’t attractive; it’s embarrassing, it’s a complete turn-off, and it says a lot about the woman, none of which are good. However, if you really care about someone, maybe you can tell them nicely that they need to shower more often.
Gifting some deodorant or body wash is nice, too. And this isn’t talking about those who have conditions that affect things like the way they smell; we mean brushing your teeth every now and then.
She wants you to change who you are
Often, people go into relationships with this red flag flying high. There’s nothing wrong with growing and evolving into a better person, and sometimes, that can be prompted by the woman you’re with. But if she’s trying to shape you into the person SHE wants you to be, it won’t end well.
People will only change if they want to change. And they should remain true to themselves so that they can be a person they’re proud of.
She likes playing games
Games are fun for both kids and adults. But we’re not talking board games here; having someone on a leash and toying with their feelings is never good. If you’re getting the sense that the woman you’re seeing isn’t serious and is playing a game of pretend, end it as soon as you see the signs.
Just stick to the fun games like Monopoly or Scrabble. The ones that are actually meant to be played by a group of people.
She’s a big gossip
Men and women gossip, although the argument about who does it more is still up in the air. Doing it constantly could mean that she’s probably not the most trustworthy person in the world, that she thrives on drama, and that she doesn’t have constructive and fulfilling hobbies, which are definitely red flags.
If you notice this red flag, you should run from the relationship. She is likely saying bad things behind your back to get attention and may spill your secrets.
She never offers to pay for anything
We’re big fans of chivalry and men still opening the door for their ladies. But it shouldn’t always be on him to pay for every single thing. Whether it’s the laundry or the groceries, a drink at the bar or a lunch date, it’s okay to offer to pay every once in a while.
If a woman doesn’t, she could end up relying on you financially for everything, and if your situation isn’t the best at the moment, it’ll become a huge burden.
She doesn’t let anything go
Here is another big red flag for people in relationships. If there were rules we had to follow to make a relationship work, one of them would be forgiving and forgetting. If you’re with someone who throws all your past wrongs back in your face every single time you argue, it won’t stop.
And you’ll always feel like you’re paying for the same crimes over and over again. Dredging up past wrongs isn’t a constructive way to solve problems.
She makes no effort at all
One of the best ways to find out if a woman is truly into you is to look at the effort she’s putting into your courtship and relationship. If she doesn’t ever initiate a phone call, a text, the idea for a date, or even refuses to give her opinions, then the sad truth is that she may not feel as strongly for you as you do for her.
A woman who is engaged in the relationship is going to want to be in contact and doing things with you, including the things she thought of herself.
She uses intimacy as a tool
This major red flag can be extremely difficult to recognize, especially because feelings are involved, but if being intimate comes with “ifs, ands, or buts” and she always seems to get something (like a favor) out of you every time you two are together, then you’re being used and manipulated with intimacy.
Love making is special and should never be used against you, especially from your partner. It should be done just because you can, not with a goal or payment in mind.
She has very different values than you do
People like to say opposites attract, but for a romantic relationship to last, you MUST have the same or similar values. If not, you’ll spend a lot of time arguing about your differences. It’s a red flag, but not one that means that the girl, or you, is wrong; you each just grew up differently.
Values may be reflected in how they treat family, feel about children, or look at certain laws. This will influence how they behave and make decisions.
She doesn’t take feedback well
Some jobs and activities require more criticism than others. However, no matter what, you should be able to take it. Being with someone should mean that you’re able to be honest with them, even when they’re wrong. If you realize that the girl you’re with HATES correction and constructive criticism, it could really prevent you two from growing and progressing.
No one is perfect, and if she can’t understand that you’re only looking out for her and communicating, then it’s definitely a red flag.
It’s completely unrealistic to expect that a relationship will be without a lie or two. But if it’s to the point where you know it’s a lie as soon as she says it, or you eventually find out everything she tells you is untrue, then you’ll be in for a world of hurt if you keep seeing her.
Seriously though, nobody likes a liar. You need to be able to trust what is being said to you in order to rely on someone.
She ignores the boundaries you set
No matter how comfortable you are with someone, there are boundaries no one should cross. If she ignores them, there’s a lack of respect there, and respect is very important in a relationship, no matter what kind it is. This item goes for the guys, too. Even if you think it is no big deal but your partner does, that is what matters.
Pay attention when your lover confides in you about something. Don’t make fun of them or brush it off. Boundaries are there to be respected.