These Are The Signs That You’re In Need Of A Break From Dating
The quest to find love is something that many of us have been through. You meet someone, date them to see if you’re compatible, then stick it out and hope that it works. Of course, there’s more to it than that, but it all starts with the dating process. And although it’s important to date, it’s also important to recognize when it’s time for a break from dating.
It could be because the timing isn’t right, that you’re not in the right headspace, or that you need to take some space to figure out what it is that you’re truly after. If you’re serious about finding lasting love, then sometimes a break from the dating pool is what’s needed more than anything else. Here are some of the various signs that it might be time to take a hiatus from the dating marketplace…
If You’re Already In A Relationship
This may seem like something that didn’t need to be pointed out, so let’s get this one out of the way right off the bat. You’d be surprised by how many people in committed relationships are out there having fun with people they shouldn’t be. If you’re in a relationship, don’t take a break from dating, just stop dating, period.
If You’re Easily Disappointed or Heartbroken
If you belong to the elite club where your emotions have taken up residence on your sleeve, then you’re special. Unfortunately, the world is rarely kind to people like you, especially when it comes to dating. You need to learn to manage your expectations to prevent yourself from getting hurt so often. Growing a thicker skin also helps.
If You Argue with All Your Dates
Disagreements happen, but rarely do you find someone arguing with all their dates (on every date). It could mean that you want too much out of a person, that you’re too easily irritated, or that you just aren’t compatible with the people you’re attracting. Either way you need to go back to the drawing board, and the best way to do this is with zero distractions, i.e., no dating.
If You’ve Not Liked One Person You’ve Dated
The first word that comes to mind for this point is “picky.” Now it’s perfectly fine to be that way because it just means that you know what you want. But if your list is so long that no one can meet it, it may be time to cross out a few of the more superficial items. And this isn’t something you can do while you’re going out on dates.
If You’re Not Being Satisfied
As serious as dating can be- you are trying to find a lifelong mate, after all- you need to have fun while doing it. You’re putting your time, effort and money into it, so it’s only fair that you get some kind of enjoyment out of it. If you’re not enjoying yourself, a break is definitely in order.
If You’re Wasting Your Time
Everyone has been on a date (or few) where they feel like it was a complete waste of time. And what a bummer that can be. If you’re going on a string of them and there seems to be no hope in sight, for the sake of your sanity, take a breather.
If You’re Too Busy to Date
Life can truly get in the way of dating. You could be a single parent of two children, could’ve just gotten a promotion at your job or are juggling school and other responsibilities. You wouldn’t want your dates to feel neglected and grow to resent you for the lack of attention.
If You Don’t Have the Money to Date
Dating is expensive, no matter if you’re a man or woman. You have to consider things like clothing, makeup, dinners, transportation; it’s just not as cheap as it used to be. There’s no sense digging into your pockets and spending money best allocated to something else.
If You Don’t Feel Like Dating
Let’s get this part straight-dating is not one of life’s “musts.” At least not like earning money or eating food. You don’t have to date to survive. So why would you do it when you don’t want to? This is something one should do willingly and not because of any kind of pressure. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
If You Aren’t Ready to Date
Not being ready to date can be for a host of different reasons. If you’re not there mentally and your heart isn’t in it, it’s okay. Don’t force it. Work on fixing whatever’s wrong and then you can date as much or as little as you want.
If You Just Had A Messy Break-Up
Messy break-ups can be quite debilitating. Sometimes people can’t leave their houses, they become shells of their former selves and can’t seem to function properly. This really isn’t the best of times to be involved with anyone else.
If You’re Still Hung Up on Someone Else
Now, this isn’t as clear-cut as it looks. You shouldn’t be dating if you’re so hung up on another person, that you can’t focus on someone new. If you just miss your ex, but are excited at the prospect of meeting someone else, then that’s totally fine. It’s just not fair to waste someone’s time if you’re not ready to date.
If You Don’t Know What You Want
The beauty of dating is going out with people who check the boxes on our list. And how can you do that if you don’t have a list or even an idea of what you’re looking for? Stop dating for a while and create that list. Take note of what you love and the things you won’t stand for and by the time you’re done, you’ll be ready to jump back in.
If You Need to Reconnect With Yourself
It’s not bad to admit that you’ve lost sight of who you are. In fact, it’s pretty amazing if you’ve realized that you’re not being yourself. The last thing you should be doing when this is happening is dating someone else.
If You’re Not Ready to Commit
Again, this seems like a point that shouldn’t be made but some people need a reminder. Unless you’re walking into every date, openly telling the person you’re meeting that you don’t want a relationship, give it a rest. There are other ways to meet people who like things short-term.
If You Feel Pressured To Not Be Single
We all know that one person who’s surrounded by couples. All their friends are married or their family is breathing down their necks to settle down and have kids. And while those things can inspire you to jump into the dating pool, it shouldn’t be the reason that you do. If you don’t truly want it, don’t force it.
If You Find it Hard to Be Yourself
Sometimes when people date, they try to reign in some of their more questionable qualities, just to make a good impression. But that doesn’t mean you can’t show them who you are. If you’re having lots of difficulty doing that, you need to get more comfortable with yourself before you share it with the world.
If You Can’t Be Honest with Your Dates
Beyond being yourself, if you find that you’re lying to make yourself seem more attractive, then it’s definitely a problem. Not only will your lies catch up to you, but you shouldn’t be doing it to begin with. You need to tell yourself that you’re enough, even if your date is a god like Thor. Until you believe that, it may be best to take a pause.
If You Already Have An Amazing Life
Some people are perfectly fine being single. Their lives are amazing career-wise and they have great friends and family. They feel like nothing is missing. So why would you try to switch things up if you’re happier than you’ve ever been and you really don’t need to date? If you feel like you’re great single, then be single.
If Your Life Is All About Dating
It’s good to be excited about something, but nothing should ever consume your life. Not your career, your children, your relationships or dating. And if you feel like you’re thinking about dating too often- wondering when your date will text you, wondering what your date is doing, if they’re thinking about you, if they’re with someone else- then it’s taking over your life. And that’s not a good thing.
If You’re Obsessed with the Idea of Being In A Relationship
Have you ever seen movies with men and women who are just obsessed with being married? They have the scrapbooks with pictures of their wedding and their future children, and everything is planned to perfection. If you’re doing this with your dates then maybe you need to put it on pause for a bit. Learn to have more fun and not think too far ahead.
If You’re In It for the Wrong Reasons
Someone can date for the wrong reasons? Of course, they can! Most people date to find someone to spend the rest of their lives with, and a lot of them don’t want to waste their time with someone who isn’t serious or someone who just wants a different person to hook up with every weekend. If you wouldn’t appreciate your own reasons for dating in someone you’d go out with, then you should stop.
If You’re Making Yourself Too Available
Making yourself too available can turn a lot of people off. Unfortunately, they see it as a sign of desperation, even though you may just be eager for the date. Until you can reign it in, it may be best to just pause for a little bit.
If You’re In Love One Day then Out of Love the Next
Of course, feelings change, and there really could be a situation where you’re in love one day and out of love the next. But if it happens all the time then maybe there are some things you need to figure out. Dating will only distract you from doing that effectively.
If It’s Distracting You From Doing More Important Things
Dating can be pretty time-consuming, and therefore, distracting. If you’re finding that you can’t stay focused while dating, you really need to reconsider doing it, at least for a little while. Once you learn how to balance things a bit better, then you can resume.
If You’re Using Dating As A Distraction
If you’re using dating as a distraction, then your reason isn’t exactly the purest. And sure, it isn’t a crime to see other people to take your mind off a mildly annoying ex, but it is horrible if you’re using it to forget about something very tragic. Not only do you need to grieve, but it’s unfair to waste someone’s time.
If You Overthink Everything Your Dates Do
Some people are just natural overthinkers. But if you’re thinking about every single thing your dates do and say and dissecting it all, then maybe you’re a little too frazzled at the moment to be in the game. Take some time to relax a bit. And when you realize that your date is probably just as nervous as you are, and you channel it into some positive energy, you’ll be good to go.
If You’re Lowering Your Standards to Find Someone
One thing you should never compromise on is your standards. If you’re doing it so that you can date someone, no matter how cute, rich or perfect they seem, that’s a huge no-no. If you’re doing it, even just a little, you need to stop, and take a break from dating.
If Sex is Clouding Your Judgement
Humans are reportedly one of two animals who have sex for fun. If we’re being honest, we think there’s a good reason why this pleasurable act isn’t making every member of the animal planet giddy. Sometimes, making love makes you overlook certain things- you don’t say what’s on your mind as much and you take way more nonsense than you usually would. If this is you, a break is in order.
If You’re Letting Being Single Define You
Lots of people get caught up int their status, and that should not be the case. Nevertheless, there are people out there who hate being single, so much so that they date just to change that. If you feel like this applies to you, you need to learn to be alone. And dating isn’t going to help with that.
If You Move Extremely Fast with Someone You’ve Just Met
People move at different speeds in relationships, and if you find that yours are always moving at the speed of light, then maybe a break is in order. Moving too quickly can blind you to certain warning signs- ones you’d definitely catch if you slowed down a bit.
If You’re Only Attracted to Unavailable People
It’s one thing to like someone who ends up being unavailable (much to your disappointment) and another to be constantly be attracted to someone who’s taken. If you find that this is always happening to you, take a break and re-evaluate what you think you need.
If You Don’t Even Know Why You’re Dating
Why do something if you’re not sure why you’re doing it? You could just be wasting not only your time, but also the time, energy and money of the people you’re dating. Until you figure out why you’re dating, put it on pause.
If You Know You Shouldn’t Be Dating
Some of us know deep down that we really aren’t in the best places in our lives to be looking for a relationship. And it can be a pretty hard pill to swallow. If you think that this might be you, please consider stopping for a while.
If You Don’t Believe in Love
We’re not saying that those who don’t believe in love isn’t deserving of it. But you do need to assess what you’re looking for when you’re dating, as well as how you’ll let the people you’re dating know that you don’t believe in it and aren’t looking for it.
If You Want to Understand What Love Is
A lot of us jump from relationship to relationship leaving us clueless as to what real love is. Taking a step back will allow you to determine if you’ve actually ever felt love in any of those relationships and if you were truly in love as well.
If You Want More than One Kind of Love
Experts and wise people always say that love starts with yourself, and that if you can’t love yourself, you won’t be able to love someone else the right way. Taking a break from dating will allow you to spend time with yourself, learning what you need and learning what true (self) love is. When you’ve got that, you’ll be truly ready for the romantic love you deserve.
If You Want to Attract More People
Have you ever noticed that you attract the things you’re looking for when you’re not actually looking for it? Well, that’s the mentality we’re working with, in this point. When you’re not all about finding someone, that someone will find you.
If You Want Clarity
Clarity is the one thing a lot of people lack when it comes to love, relationships and even dating. When you take a break from dating, you can see where things went wrong. You’ll be able to understand what you contributed to the relationship’s demise and how you can prevent that in the future.
If You Want to Get to Know Yourself Better
If you’re like most people, then multitasking usually means that you can’t devote as much attention to one particular thing because you have so much to deal with. And that goes for everything in life. If you want to get to know yourself better (the importance of which has been outlined several times already) then take a break from dating.